


here's to the rest of our days

by dearlyuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-24 18:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18168434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyuta/pseuds/dearlyuta
Summary: When Jeno served a shot of whisky to a boy with a sweet smile and an even sweeter laughter at Jaemin and Yukhei's wedding, he never once knew that his heart will spin out of control for him.(Unfortunately for him, the boy is madly in love with his best friend — it's none other than Na Jaemin.)





	here's to the rest of our days

**Author's Note:**

> sooo, this fic really only happened because i was desperate for a slow burn noren fic? also, i really missed noren so much so i wrote this! anyway, kindly ignore any errors you might see while reading because i haven't proofread it. i hope you enjoy reading!

"Are you sure you can do it?"

Jeno barely lifts his gaze from the set of glasses stacked up right in front of him by the counter. An easy smile tugs on the corners of his lips, finally raising his eyes to catch sight of the flicker of worry passing through Jaehyun's expression. He appreciates how Jaehyun seems to fuss over him and treat him more like a little brother, rather than an employee that he hired. It's amusing in more ways than one.

"I'm sure I can handle it," With a breathy laugh, he steps away from the counter, slipping on his dark jacket. He smoothens out the creases on white button up shirt, tugging on the black tie and briefly frowning before he lets out a defeated sigh. The material is stiff around his frame, not the usual softness that he's expecting but he doesn't seem too bothered about it. "This isn't the first wedding I've served alcohol as a bartender."

Jaehyun visibly relaxes, nodding his head in a thoughtful manner. "Mark is going to accompany you there too so I think you'll be fine."

"As long as he doesn't end up getting too flustered when another guest flirts with him, I think we're good to go." Jeno snickers, shaking his head as he snatches up his keys from the side. He twirls the keychain around his finger before pocketing it in his jacket, glancing at his boss with a bright smile. His eyes crinkle when he pulls on the edges of his mouth into a grin, "I'll see you, hyung."

"Okay, good luck there."

Jeno walks beneath the dull lighting of the bar, the click of the heels of his shoes echoing against the tiles. A sigh falls from his lips when he steps past the glass doors, the cool, crisp air surrounding his body all too fast and leaves him absolutely breathless. He stands there, still as a statue as he gazes at the rush of cars in front of him and the people hurrying past him late in the afternoon. Jeno takes a second to admire the way the soft pink hue spreads through the vast skies, a heartwarming feeling descending in his bones.

When he breaks his stare away from the skies, he notices the looks around him. The dark haired male thinks he's a little too dressed up already, based on the curious glances thrown at his direction but he doesn't bother with it.

His phone rings in the pocket of his pants, his fingers already searching for the device in seconds. He pulls it out, tightly grasping it in his hand before he answers the call without even taking a look at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Jeno! I'm at the venue already. Are you heading here anytime soon?"

Jeno finds himself curling the corners of his mouth into a wide smile. He knows that voice without a doubt in his chest.

"I'll be there in a while, Jaem."

-

Candles are encased within vintage-like lanterns and they're strung around at the top, giving a soft kind of glow at every corner of the venue. Everything is blindingly white, with the exception of the open bar right at the side and the huge stage set up at the front. Circular tables covered with white cloths dot the linoleum flooring, with a dash of blue flowers wrapped in a tiny vase right in the middle and blue ribbons tied around the back of the chairs.

It's breathtaking but Jeno isn't all that surprised — he knows that Jaemin has never been short of perfection. He has always known that Jaemin plans every detail with precision and of course, his special day is no exception.

Jeno glances around, swallowing the lump in his throat when his gaze lands on the bar. Mark is already there, dressed sharply as expected and wearing the usual, bright smile on his lips. He would have taken a step forward in his co-worker's direction, if it wasn't for the voice that resonated near him.

"Jeno! You're here!"

The mentioned male spins on his heel, the corners of his lips curving upwards without too much effort. His gaze lands on a male dressed up in a fitting tux, his brown hair swept to the side. He easily mirrors the smile playing on Jeno's visage, his eyes lighting up in utter delight.

"Hey, here's the man of the hour." Jeno flashes a cheeky grin as soon as Jaemin is near, pocketing his hands in his dark pants. "I'm surprised that you have the time to spare to talk to me."

"Oh, please. You know that I'll always have time for you." The dark haired boy can't help but roll his eyes playfully, his lips twitching into a brighter smile. Jeno opens his arms and Jaemin steps closer, winding his arms around the older boy's frame to give him a tight embrace. The dark haired boy lands a light pat on his back, breaking away from the embrace as he takes another glance around to sweep the area.

"It's gorgeous, Nana." A low whistle spills from Jeno's lips, an appreciative grin playing on the edges of his mouth. His eyes eventually land back on the male in front of him, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "I mean, you've never truly disappointed me whenever you plan parties before but wow, the reception is beautiful."

"Thanks, Jen." Jaemin leans in close, his eyes widening comically with a grin already creeping on his face. "That's the reason why I invited you here. It's so you can stroke my ego."

"Ugh, you're so annoying." Jeno playfully bumps his body against Jaemin, a laugh spilling from his mouth. The younger male echoes the sound easily, his eyes crinkling as he lights up again. A softened smile graces his lips afterwards, nodding his head at the direction of the bar.

"Thanks for volunteering to be the bartender. I know it's difficult to handle weddings since there can be so many drunk guests at times." Jaemin shudders, shaking his head with a worried frown creasing his features.

Jeno arches a brow, suppressing a chuckle as a flicker of amusement passes through his visage. "That's not a problem. I deal with drunks every day in the bar so really, what's the difference?"

The younger boy spares him an uncertain glance before he lets his shoulders loosen up, releasing the tension left in his body. He lands a friendly pat on Jeno's shoulder, a reassuring smile curling itself on his lips. "Promise me that you'll be fine and," He holds up a hand even before Jeno could think of parting his lips, cutting off the words that are dying to escape his pair. "You'll at least have some fun in the reception."

Jeno hesitates, lips pursuing into a thin line. He doesn't plan to mingle with the guests, unless they decide to strike up a conversation with him. He isn't expecting to dance as well, seeing that he knows that the guests will end up circling him the moment they realize that it's an open bar at a wedding. It's bound to be disastrous if he doesn't keep an eye on any of them if they drink too much.

With a shrug of his shoulders, he forces the edges of his pair to pull upwards into a relaxed smile. "Sure, one little dance won't kill me." He doesn't intend to keep that promise and he's sure that Jaemin would be too busy tending to the other guests to even take notice of him.

The brown haired male lights up, clearly elated as his eyes turn starry. He steps forward once again to give him a swift hug, pulling away even before Jeno could think of lifting his arms to return the embrace.

"Okay, that's good. I'll see you later, all right?" Jeno doesn't formulate a reply; he only nods his head at his direction. A breathless smile graces Jaemin's visage, the light never leaving his eyes as he raises a hand to give him a wave. He steps away, walking around to inspect the last minute decorations tenderly being put up to give the place a magical feeling.

Jeno stands there, hands in his pockets before he finally forces his feet to move to the bar. Mark is standing right behind the counter, lips curled downwards to resemble a frown as he inspects the glass containers gingerly placed beneath the counter and right behind them.

"Hey, hyung."

"Oh," Mark snaps his head up, eyes wide before he relaxes the moment the realization rests on him that it's Jeno greeting him. "Hey, you're finally here. Did you talk to Jaem already?"

"Yeah, he still looks awfully busy. I thought he'll be in his room with his husband instead of walking around here." Jeno grabs one of the shot glasses, filling it up with gin. He downs it, the burn down his throat is delightful and pleasant as the feeling rushes through his veins. He slams down the shot glass on the counter with Mark jumping in surprise, eyes widening.

Jeno lets his gaze flicker over to him, a grin playing on his lips as he allows a finger to tap along the rim of the glass.

"I hope you're ready to deal with the usual tonight, hyung."

-

Jeno isn't quite expecting the rush of guests inside.

His fingers are aching from slipping shots of alcohol to the guests, keeping a careful eye towards the ones who keep coming back and are on the verge of getting completely drunk. On the rare times that he's free for a few minutes, he lets his eyes flicker over to the reception in front of him — the decorations are dashing and breathtaking. The candles light up a soft glow at the corners where they're peacefully strung along. A chandelier hangs right at the very top, the glass reflecting the ethereal light throughout the entire venue. There's soft music playing through the speakers, lulling the guests into a relaxed atmosphere as they mingle around with one another.

It's gorgeous in more ways than one. Too bad Jeno couldn't enjoy the view at all.

He's tempted to take a brief sip of another shot of gin but he stops himself, mostly due to another guest drunkenly stumbling over to the counter. He worries about the ones who are drinking too much and he winces every time he has to politely tell them that they're too drunk already.

It surprises him that he hasn't received a punch or a slap to the face but the swear words are enough to throw him off guard.

"God, drunk guests at weddings are horrible." Mark passes by him, scowling to himself as he snatches up the glasses to fill them up with vodka. Jeno only curves his lips into a snicker as he wipes the counter with a rag, thoroughly clearing away any spilled liquid on it before he puts it away. For a moment, he thought that he would slip into a blissful second of admiring how the party turned out but his view is cut short when a boy comes up to him.

He looks exhausted and the stress lines are obvious on his features. His brown hair is pulled back, showing off a clear view of his face. Jeno would never deny the fact that the boy in front of him is dashingly handsome. The corners of his lips quirk up into a smile, hoping to at least brighten up the guest's mood even a little.

"What would you like to—"

"Give me two shots of whisky." The boy slides into the stool in front of him, a frown already curled on his lips.

 _Ouch_ , Jeno winces visibly at the way he got brushed off without a thought but he composes himself easily. He draws out two shot glasses, setting them in front of the male before he fills them up with the alcohol. As soon as he's finished, the boy circles his fingers around one of the glasses, downing it one go. A grimace flickers onto his visage but it dissipates into nothingness as a sigh pulls itself past his lips.

For some reason, Jeno feels a certain pull at the other boy. It's as if he can't command his feet to move to another part of the bar so he can tend to the other guests.

"Rough night?"

If he's being honest, he expected the boy to either ignore him or narrow his eyes at him into a glare. He grips the edge of the counter, the breath getting stolen from his lungs as he watches the boy lift his gaze from the shot glasses. One of the edges of his mouth curve upwards into a half smile, glancing straight at Jeno.

"Yeah," His voice comes out smooth and gentle, a striking difference compared to his sharp features. Jeno feels a hit in his chest, his heart stirring right out of control as the boy heaves a sigh. "A _really_ rough night, I guess."

"Why?" He can't help but feel like his curiosity pique, drawn even more to the sound of the male's voice. The brown haired boy stares at him carefully, head tilting to the side before his expression softens.

"Not really in the mood to party," He pauses for a stretch of silence, wincing for a bit. "Well, not really in the mood to even go out today." His dark eyes flicker over to the front and Jeno, out of instinct, follows his line of sight. He sees Jaemin throwing his head back with laughter spilling from his lips, his fingers grasping the arm belonging to his husband.

"But I can't bear with the thought of not seeing my best friend get married today."

Jeno lets his eyes land back on the boy in front of him and for a moment, he sees the flicker of sadness and longing passing through his visage. The dark haired male can't help but feel a lump form in his throat as he stills his fingers from shaking in nervousness as soon as the boy gives him his full attention again.

"Oh?" His voice comes out as a questioning tone, filling up his own glass with gin. He takes a sip from it, savoring the taste before he puts it down gently on the counter. "Jaemin is your best friend?"

He nods his head slowly, a saddened smile gracing his lips as he glances down on the still full shot of whisky in front of him. He tips his head back as he downs it in one go, letting out an exaggerated sigh as the liquid slips past his tongue.

"We've been childhood friends for so long. He's such a bright and cheerful person, you know? You can't help but be attracted to him."

Jeno stares at him, carefully analyzing every emotion that passes through the expression written on the boy's visage. He stands there, the realization slamming down fast enough for him to tightly grasp it around his fingers.

"Let me guess," Jeno murmurs, pouring another shot of whisky and passing it to the brown haired male with a small, knowing smile, "You've been friends for a long while and you slowly fell in love with him." He stays silent after that, mulling quietly over his words but he ends up letting them spill from his lips. "You're either still in love with him or you're an ex of his."

"An ex?" He barks out a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief. His fingers instinctively wrap themselves around his shot glass, already lifting it up to drink everything but he hesitates, putting it back down. He gazes at Jeno with a smirk, gently pushing the glass away from him. "I wish I could say I was an ex. At least that meant I confessed to him and he liked me back."

 _Oh,_ Jeno softens up when he sees the sadness passing through the other's dark eyes. He glances down at the untouched glass of whisky, dismissing it before he leans close to the boy with his hands still on the counter.

"You still like him?"

Another saddened smile pulls on the corners of his mouth, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. "It's that obvious, isn't it?"

"Oh," He echoes his own thought, grimacing for a moment as he glances back down on the rows of glasses hidden underneath the counter. "That sucks." He pulls away from the counter, pocketing his hands in his pockets as he watches the male heave a heavy sigh.

"I know," A laugh falls from his lips but it sounds forced and broken. He clears his throat, picking up the shot glass again as he downs the drink, scrunching up his face due to the taste lying on the tip of his tongue. He slams it back down and Jeno jolts in surprise, eyeing his hand to see if the glass is broken but fortunately, it's not.

"Do you know what's worse about this though?"

Jeno lets the quietness descends over them as the boy plays with the glass with a finger, letting the pad of his thumb graze along the rim. He raises his eyes to meet the bartender's gaze on him, lips curved into a familiar smile that doesn't seem to reach his eyes.

"I'm his best man and he," He swallows, staring at the glass with the tears already starting to cling to his lashes. "He asked me to sing a song for him and his husband later."

"God, that's awful." Jeno ends up blurting out, his features displaying so much pity for the male in front of him. A breathy chuckle slips away from his lips as he stretches his back, inclining his head to the side to relieve the tension. He ends up slouching though, pushing the glass to Jeno's direction in a light force.

"Don't look at me like that. I brought it onto myself and I could never bear through with the idea of disappointing my best friend."

"You don't have to do something you're not... entirely comfortable with, you know?"

"I know," His voice trails off with a sigh before he lights up, his eyes turning starry as he leans forward, catching Jeno off guard. The distance between them shortens and Jeno has a hard time calming down the erratic beating of his heart beneath the confines of his chest. "Do you want to know how you can help me?"

Jeno spares him a muddled look, arching a brow. "How?"

"Give me more shots of whisky." His voice is firm and steady, nodding his head as if he's absolutely sure of his fool proof plan. "Maybe I can breeze through my speech and my song later on if I get drunk enough."

The dark haired boy barks out a laugh filled with disbelief, gazing at the male in front of him in wonder and amusement. "Oh, no. That does _not_ sound like a good idea."

"And why not?"

Jeno sinks his teeth down onto his bottom lip, effectively holding himself back from breaking into a smile. "Trust me, I've been to enough weddings to see how... catastrophic it would be if the best man gets drunk before he gives his speech." He pauses for a heartbeat, inclining his head to the side with a tug on his lips to pull it into a worried frown. "Unless you're planning to give an impromptu confession to Jaemin."

The boy stares at him for a heartbeat too long before his shoulders eventually drop, admitting his defeat. He steals a quick look at the shot glass, his teeth lightly grazing along his lower lip before he reluctantly meets Jeno's dark eyes.

"What should I do? I feel like I might burst into tears the moment I step into stage. At least if I'm drunk, I'll have an excuse since I can be too sensitive when I drink too much."

Jeno falls silent, fingers rhythmically drumming against the counter before he leans against it with a softened smile. "How about this," He murmurs, stare flickering over to the stage briefly before he meets the brown haired male's eyes again. "Whenever you feel like you'll lose your nerve, you can look at me. At least that way, your attention will shift for a moment and you can take that moment to relax."

"You'll do that for me?"

A breathy laugh escapes Jeno's lips, eyes crinkling in utter happiness. "Well, why not? If you get through your speech and your song, I'll hand you another drink."

"That's a promise then! I'm holding you to that." Jeno has to let his teeth sink right onto his bottom lip to bite back the smile that's already starting to curve on the edges of his mouth. His heart falls out of control again but he pointedly ignores it, leaning away before nodding his head.

"Of course, I promise."

The boy flashes him a bright, genuine smile — it's so beautiful that Jeno is caught off guard at the sight of it. He adores the way the male's eyes light up in delight and his chest feels lighter than ever upon seeing it.

"By the way," The brown haired boy leans close, elbows perched right on the counter. He squints his eyes, as if he's thoughtfully analyzing every emotion that passes through Jeno's visage. "What's your name?"

"Jeno." He breathes out, a smile gracing his lips without a second to miss. "Lee Jeno."

The boy in front of him quietly mouths his name, testing the syllables by letting them roll of his tongue. His voice is soft, gentle as his eyes turn starry, gazing at Jeno with so much wonder.

"That's pretty," He whispers lowly, his cheeks coloring themselves in pink tint the moment he realizes the words that left his lips. He clears his throat before he leans forward again, a breathless grin playing on his mouth. "Your name is pretty."

Jeno can no longer deny the way his heart jumped right in his chest the moment he heard those words. It beats out of control, spinning and wrecking itself against his rib cage as he desperately tries to formulate a proper reply to the compliment handed to him.

"Your name is pretty too."

The boy spares him a look of amusement, the corners of his lips curling into a mischievous smile. "Is that so? But you haven't even heard my name yet."

 _Fuck,_ Jeno clenches his jaw and grits his teeth. God, why does he have to embarrass himself in front of such a breathtaking boy as of the moment?

With the sound of his throat clearing, the brown haired male leans forward with the stars dancing in his dark eyes. "You're cute, Jeno." He pushes the glass once again to Jeno, nudging it against his hand before he pulls away with a sweet smile. "My name is Renjun. Huang Renjun."

"So, I'm right. Your name is pretty."

Renjun stares at him, lips twitching into a smile as the blush colors itself on his cheeks. He ducks his head to hide them as he runs a hand down his thigh, patting it lightly before he lets his fingers grip the edge of the counter instead.

Jeno tilts his head to the side, grasping the empty shot glass and putting away before he glances at Renjun again. "So, Renjun, what are you planning to do tonight?"

The male in front of him gives him a scrutinizing gaze, raising an inquisitive brow as the curiosity passes through his features. "I just told you. I'm going to give a speech and sing a song for Jaem and his husband."

"What about after that?"

Renjun stays still, lips pursued into a grim line before the edges of his pair eventually tug themselves downwards into a deep frown. A sigh escapes his lips as he taps his fingers against the counter.

"I don't know, drink my sorrows away?"

"That's all?" Jeno gawks at him and Renjun spares him another amused smile. A laugh bubbles from his throat as he shakes his head, leaning his elbow on the counter before he presses his cheek against the palm of his hand.

"I told you, I'm not really in the mood to party."

Jeno contemplatively chews on his bottom lip, eyeing Renjun with interest and nervousness at the same time. He knows that Jaemin did tell him a while ago that he should at least have fun and tonight would have been another dull wedding because all he did is hand drinks to the already drunk guests. It would have remained as another wedding that he served alcohol at, if he didn't jump on this opportunity presenting itself prettily in front of him.

"How about you save me a dance later?"

"You dance?" Jeno shrugs his shoulders, his eyes shining with mischief. Renjun peers at him in renewed curiosity, head inclining to the side.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" They share a breathy laugh and for a moment, Jeno catches sight of the happiness written all over Renjun's features. For the first time tonight, the burden and tension lying on his shoulders seemed to have dissipated into nothingness and Jeno feels proud of himself that he did manage to cheer him up.

"Okay, I promise."

The rapid tapping on the microphone catches everyone's attention within the venue, including Jeno and Renjun. A curly haired boy stands on stage, lips stretched into a cheeky smile as he raises the microphone close to him.

"Hey, guys, I hope everyone is having a great time tonight." A cheer erupts from the crowd and the boy laughs, nodding his head as his starry eyes take in the sight of the guests in front of him. "Anyway, here's a little something that you've all been waiting for! It's time for the speeches!"

"It's my turn." Renjun murmurs, his expression slowly turning crestfallen as he swallows the invisible lump residing in his throat. Jeno stares at him before he hesitantly reaches out, his fingers lightly patting Renjun's shoulder in hopes of comforting him.

"You'll do amazing. Remember that I'll be here for you."

Renjun briefly turns to him, a hint of a smile playing on his lips as he nods his head. "Thank you, Jeno."

The mentioned male only flashes a quick, reassuring smile at him before they both hear the sound of Renjun's name being called on stage. The brown haired boy takes in a deep, shaky breath, eyes falling shut for a moment to calm down the fast pace beating of his heart before he slips off from his stool to head to the front.

Jeno thinks that you can notice a lot when you're at the sidelines. From his place, he could see the way the emotions flicker too fast on Renjun's visage before he ends up schooling his expression into a bright smile, completely shredding off any negativity traveling through his veins. Jaemin gazes at Renjun with so much happiness, clearly excited to hear what kind of speech that his best friend will make for him. Jeno prays to the stars that Renjun would get through without breaking a sweat — he doesn't want him to embarrass himself in front of so many people.

"Hey, my name is Renjun and I guess you guys know me as Jaem's best friend." He grips the microphone in his hand and Jeno could see the confidence shredding away too fast. As if out of instinct, his eyes flicker over to Jeno, catching the latter off guard. He curves his lips into a sweet smile, nodding his head as he gestures for the other to continue speaking. Renjun stares at him before he softens up, a smile gracing his mouth as he takes another deep breath.

Jeno doesn't really expect him to be able to slip into a persona so easily. That persona as Renjun, Jaemin's best friend. Renjun, the boy who doesn't have any romantic attachment to his best friend and someone whose heart isn't breaking apart as of the moment. It's so easy for him to slip into an identity that's so different from what he was showing to Jeno a while ago — he's so sociable and hilarious, cracking everyone up with jokes and stories from their childhood.

"I still remember the times Jaemin would come over to my house every night because he's scared of something moving in his room. He says he isn't afraid and that he doesn't believe the paranormal. But trust me, he's the first one to freak out when a light breeze comes through his window and his jacket hanging in front of his closet rustles even a tiny bit."

A lighthearted laugh erupts from the rest of the crowd and Jeno could see the way Jaemin makes a face at Renjun, bursting into a fit of chuckles afterwards. Renjun has a wide smile on his lips and Jeno is a little relieved to know that the brown haired boy isn't forcing it. He pauses for a moment, quieting down before his voice comes out gentle and filled with emotions.

"I used to be the person who would protect Jaemin from all these kind of stuffs," He falters and out of habit, he catches Jeno's eyes. Jeno raises an empty shot glass, high enough for Renjun to catch a glimpse of it. He cracks a smile at him before he begins speaking once again.

"But now, I can rest easy because I know Jaemin has someone he could go to whenever he needs some reassurance. When he needs someone to hold him every night so he won't be afraid anymore," Renjun takes another deep breath, calming himself down as he forces his voice to stay as steady as possible. He turns to the couple in front, his expression softening right at them.

"Yukhei, you don't know how grateful I am that you came into Jaem's life. I've never seen him light up so much before until your paths crossed with each other. I trust you to take care of him until the end of time and that you'll love him for as long as forever." His voice cracks a little, his eyes turning teary. He blinks hastily, wiping the tears away before he manages a wide smile at their direction. "Last long, you two. I hope the song that I picked out will always remind you that your love will remain strong, as long as you choose to be with each other at the end of the day."

The starting notes of the song plays through the speakers and Jeno straightens up, knowing exactly what kind of song Renjun picked out. The brown haired male shakily raises his mic close to him, his voice coming out so melodious and absolutely beautiful.

 _Forever can never be long enough for me_  
_Feel like I've had long enough with you_

Jeno gets lost in Renjun's soft and smooth voice — he watches as the brown haired male's eyes slowly fall shut as he immerses himself in the music. His fingers slowly tap against the counter in time with the beat, a smile unknowingly painting itself across his features. His eyes trail every movement of Renjun's gestures; the way he grips the microphone as he pours the entirety of his soul into the song.

It's beautiful and Jeno is breathless without a doubt.

As the song slowly starts to fade into its ending, Renjun slowly lets his eyes flutter open. He catches sight of Jeno's gaze on him, a smile curling on both of their lips as their eyes lock on each other.

 _Say you will_  
_Mm-hmm_  
_Marry me_

The song finishes and the crowd erupts into a wild cheer. Underneath the twinkling lights, it's not difficult to see the way the blush colors itself on the curves of his cheeks as a smile tugs on his lips. But Renjun never meets the eyes of the crowd, his gaze is locked on Jeno and Jeno only.

Another smile graces on both of their lips and for once, Jeno lets his heart stir right out of control.

-

"Hey, hyung," Jeno unbuttons the dark jacket wrapped around his body, shedding it off and draping it over his shoulder. He walks close to Mark, watching as the older boy stacks up the empty glasses, humming to himself before he spares a glance at Jeno.

"Is it all right if I go somewhere first? I'll be back in a while."

"Yeah, don't worry. There's only a few more guests who want some alcohol so I can handle it." Jeno beams widely at him, murmuring a _thank you_ at his direction before he sneaks right out of the bar. There are still guests hanging around and there's soft music playing through the speakers but it looks like the party is on its way to winding down already.

He walks over to one of the nearby tables, a mischievous smile drawn on his features as he sneaks up right behind the brown haired male. He steps right in front of him, making Renjun jolt in surprise as Jeno holds out a hand right at him.

"Would you do me the honour of being my first and last dance for the night?"

Renjun stares at him, a smile slowly growing on his lips. He downs the rest of his alcohol before he gracefully rises from his seat, taking Jeno's hand delicately. Jeno tries not to think about how soft Renjun's hand feels against his — he feels the urge to lace their fingers but he holds himself back just in time.

He loops an arm around Renjun's waist, tugging him close with his hand tightly grasping the brown haired male's hand. A breathy laugh falls from Renjun's lips as he lays his free hand on Jeno's broad shoulder, a sigh of contentment leaving past his mouth. There's a peaceful feeling that runs through Jeno's veins, lulling him into a sense of calmness as he allows himself to step a little closer to Renjun.

"I wonder why you would want to dance with me even there were so many pretty girls a while ago."

"Well," Jeno hums softly in thought, his starry eyes staring back at Renjun with a smile. "I find you interesting. Is that a good enough of a reason for you?"

"I'll take it. It's by far, the most genuine compliment I've received for tonight."

They fall into a comfortable silence, allowing the music to guide their steps along with the beat. Despite how calming it is, Jeno can't ignore the way his heart keeps beating out of control, as if it's trying to wreck itself against his rib cage. The rush of blood echoes in his ears but he drowns out every thought of his when Renjun meets his eyes again with a grin.

"You did amazing, by the way." Jeno whispers, voice low enough so only Renjun would catch his words. "I'm proud of you."

Renjun gives his hand a subtle squeeze, a grateful smile curling on the edges of his mouth. He lays his head against Jeno's shoulder and it takes absolutely _everything_ in Jeno not to burst as of the moment — his heart falls out of pace, a rush of beats that he can't seem to catch up with.

"I only got through that because of you. If you weren't around, I would have collapsed and cried in the middle of my speech and song."

"But you didn't so cheers to that, yes?"

Renjun cracks a smile at his words, a fit of chuckles spilling from his lips. He seems to pause for a moment, their steps stilling for a heartbeat before he moves closer until their bodies are pressed together comfortably. Jeno tries not to feel like his heart will jump straight to his throat because of how fast it's beating.

The last notes of the song echoing around the venue fades away into nothingness, letting the chatter of the remaining guests resonate around them. But even then, Renjun doesn't seem to want to pull away, based on the way a regretful sigh falls from his lips as he gently lays his forehead against Jeno's shoulder. Jeno counts the number of heartbeats resounding in the confines of his chest, quietly hoping that Renjun would want to be near him like how he feels right now for him.

But the illusion cracks when they felt a bump of another person against them. A girl near them whispers an apology before dashing away but the spell seems to have been broken already — Renjun breaks away from his embrace before he casually clears his throat. Jeno lets his hands fall against his sides, teeth catching onto his bottom lip. He parts his lips to say something but he's cut off when Jaemin and Yukhei walk over to them, their eyes starry and their smiles brighter than ever.

"Jeno! Injun!"

They both turn their heads at him, watching as Jaemin runs up to them. Jaemin tackles Renjun into a tight hug first before he approaches Jeno to give him the same treatment.

"Hey, Jaem." Jeno greets him with a lilt of excitement as his gaze flickers over to the dark haired male standing right beside Jaemin with a bright smile. "And Yukhei hyung. Congrats to you two."

"Thanks, Jeno." Yukhei beams as he walks over to Renjun, throwing an arm over his shoulder to pull him close. The brown haired boy stumbles to the side, his body accidentally bumping against Yukhei but he doesn't seem to mind at all.

"Little Huang, I just wanted to say thank you for your speech and song a while ago. It really means a lot to Nana and me."

Renjun's face briefly falls before he fixates a forced smile on his lips hurriedly, nodding his head as a laugh falls from his pair. "It's no problem. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it."

"Please, Jaemin was so close to sobbing a while ago."

"Hey! That's not true!" They all burst into a fit of lighthearted laughter, letting the sound resonate in the atmosphere. Jeno lets his eyes flicker over to Renjun and he can see the way a smile graces his lips but it doesn't quite reach his eyes at all. He can't help but pull the edges of his mouth into a worried frown, wanting to reach out and hold his hand in hopes of reminding him that he's around to comfort him.

"Anyway, thank you guys for being here with me tonight. It means a lot to have my two favorite people celebrate with me."

"I don't think you should be saying that in front of Yukhei. He might get jealous." Renjun pipes up, snickering as Yukhei pretends to sulk by jutting out his lower lip to resemble a pout. Jaemin crinkles his nose right at him before he finally goes over to Yukhei's side to hold his hand naturally. Their fingers lace together and Yukhei leans in to leave a fleeting kiss on the side of the other boy's head, grinning when Jaemin lights up at the kiss received.

"We still need to go around to talk to the other guests so we need to go now. Let's talk again soon!" Jeno and Renjun both nod their heads, letting the other two head off with a goodbye thrown at their direction before they start roaming around to mingle with the remaining guests.

The silence stretches over them, hanging heavily over their heads. Jeno finally allows himself to steal a glance at Renjun and he sees the way the other boy's face slowly crumple up in sadness, the tears already clinging to his lashes. He reaches out of instinct, fingers grasping around Renjun's arm to pull him close. To his surprise, Renjun follows him easily — he steps close in Jeno's embrace and winds his arms around his waist as he buries his face on the dark haired boy's shoulder. They stay like that for so long; Jeno's hand is warm down on Renjun's back as he quietly murmurs soothing words to the smaller boy, hoping that they're enough to calm him down.

"I'm sorry," Renjun sniffles, a shaky laugh leaving his lips as he wipes away his tears quickly. "God, this is so embarrassing. I'm so sorry, Jeno."

"Sh, it's fine." He delicately cups Renjun's cheeks with his hands, the pads of his thumb gently grazing along the curves of his cheeks to wipe away the tears that have fallen. He gazes at him with worry, brows knitting together as he quietly analyzes the flicker of emotions on his visage.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Renjun visibly hesitates, gaze locking with Jeno's for a second before he shakes his head with lips pursued into a straight line. He steps away from Jeno and glances down on his black shoes instead, a sigh escaping past his pair.

"It's fine. I'll be okay," He breathes out shakier than ever before he forces a smile. "I just need to head home now. Maybe a good night's sleep will take away some of this sadness."

Jeno reluctantly nods his head, not quite believing his words but he doesn't want to intrude. They've only met today after all; he has no right to be so nosy about what Renjun feels for Jaemin right now.

"Okay, good night, Renjun. Stay safe, all right?"

There's a rush of emotions that passes through Renjun's expression that's indecipherable for Jeno but he doesn't pay any attention to it; he thinks he must be imagining about it. Renjun nods his head, mustering him a sincere smile as he steps away once again to retrieve his things from the table.

"Good night, Jeno." He falters for a second before he flashes a wider smile at him. "Thank you for looking out for me tonight. It means so much."

"It's not a problem." As Jeno watches Renjun slowly drift to the exit, he feels the uncontrollable urge to follow him and talk to him more. But he holds himself just when he has taken a few steps already, swiftly shaking his head as if to clear out his thoughts before he weaves his way back to the bar.

But it's no denying that even with all the alcohol in his system, there's only one thought that swirls in his head for the rest of the night.

_Huang Renjun._

-

Jeno peacefully leans against the counter, a sigh falling from his lips as his fingers sift through his dark strands. He sweeps his hair to the side, rolling up the sleeves of his uniform before he fixates his gaze on the door. With every swing of the door, Jeno lights up a little, only to be brought down by disappointment when it's not his object of affection who comes through.

 _It's been two weeks,_ Jeno grits his teeth before a sigh forces itself past his lips. _Get over it, Jeno. He's in love with someone else, anyway._

"Jeno?" Mark heads over to his side after smoothly sliding a shot of vodka to one of the customers, his gaze narrowed and his brows furrowed in worry. The mentioned male lifts his gaze, eyeing his co-worker in confusion.

"What is it, hyung?"

Mark hesitates before his shoulders drop, stepping close so he can stay side by side with him. "You seem out of it lately. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine!" Jeno dismisses the conversation with a wave of his hand, mustering up a wide smile in hopes that it's enough to convince the older male. Mark straightens his posture, lips curling into a frown as he stares at the dark haired boy, quietly seeing if he's lying through his teeth. After a tense heartbeat, his voice comes out in a questioning tone but he looks absolutely sure of what he's saying.

"Is this about the boy that you talked to in the wedding?"

Jeno stills in his spot, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment at being caught red-handed. He coughs obnoxiously, letting out a string of awkward laughter as he tries to steady his gaze on the older boy.

"That's nonsense. Why do you ask?"

Mark parts his lips, as if he's about to say something when the door swings open again. Their eyes flicker over to the front of the bar and Jeno is stumped when the same curly haired boy who spoke at Jaemin and Yukhei's wedding saunters inside with a mischievous smile. He heads straight to the counter and Jeno gazes at him, blinking rapidly and wondering if he's only imagining what he's seeing right now.

"Donghyuck, hey." His co-worker suddenly straightens his posture and even under the dull lighting in the bar, Jeno can clearly see the blush that colors itself on his cheeks. He rubs the nape of his neck as a nervous smile tugs on the edges of his mouth. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you, obviously. So you can treat me for some free drinks." The boy who's presumably known as Donghyuck, flashes a cheeky smile at the older boy before his eyes eventually land on Jeno. He narrows his eyes into a scrutinizing gaze before he lights up, lips stretched into an excited smile.

"Hey, Aren't you Jeno?"

Jeno spares him a look of confusion, slowly nodding his head. It's odd that Donghyuck already knows his name — even if they saw each other at the wedding, he never quite caught a grip on the boy's name and neither did Donghyuck.

"You're the boy that Renjun kept on talking about." His eyes sparkle in delight, leaning close to the counter and surprising Jeno when the distance between them shortens. He takes a step back out of instinct, blinking rapidly as he tries to digest the information that Renjun still talks about him. It's such a wonder that Renjun still remembers him even after so long.

"He... talks about me?"

"He does!" He lights up but soon, a pitying look displays itself on his expression, shaking his head. "Not to crush your hopes or anything but he—"

"Likes Jaemin, I know." Jeno gives him a half hearted smile, pulling out a shot glass before pouring some whisky inside. Donghyuck is quick to grab hold of it, murmuring a _thank you_ with a lilt of excitement as he downs the drink easily.

"Well, even if he does like Jaemin, he always looks really happy whenever he talks about you." He slips into the empty stool, perching on elbows on the counter as he leans in close with a wide smile. "Are you two still talking?"

A crestfallen expression paints itself on Jeno's visage, shaking his head afterwards. "Not really. He left the wedding because he was upset."

"Oh, what? Really? God, he's such an idiot." Donghyuck mutters, letting out a frustrated sigh before he leans back. His eyes are lit up once again in delight as his fingers brush against the shot glass that remains empty. "Well, Injun and I have a gig at Felicity, the new café down the street, tomorrow. Maybe you can come and see us perform!" He steals a glance at Mark, cheeks slowly turning red with a shy smile gracing his lips. "You're going to see me sing at the café, right?"

"Of course, I will!" Mark enthusiastically answers before he clears his throat, trying to act nonchalant about the entire thing. He shrugs his shoulders carelessly with a small smile playing on his lips. "I mean, sure. Whatever."

"Whipped." Jeno coughs into his fist, snickering when Mark steals a look at him with eyes narrowed into an intimidating glare. He pointedly ignores him, resting his upper body against the edge of the counter.

"How about you? Are you coming to see Injun?" Jeno falters at the sound of the question, his face turning flushed in embarrassment as his teeth sinks right onto his bottom lip. With a nod of his head, Donghyuck claps his hands with his eyes shining in utter delight. He hastily gets off the stool, pulling out a bill and slides it over to Jeno and patting his shoulder.

"I'll see you two tomorrow then. Bye!"

Jeno stares at him, stunned as Donghyuck slips away from the bar. A swarm of customers approach them to start ordering so Jeno and Mark both fall silent to accommodate them. But even with the stretch of reticence between them, Jeno can feel the words lying on the tip of his tongue.

But he doesn't need to say anything. Anyone would know that he's excited to see Renjun all over again.

-

Jeno isn't quite sure if the shivers running down his spine is because of the freezing cold surrounding his frame or the nervousness of seeing Renjun again. Even when Donghyuck has reassured him that Renjun would be excited to see him, Jeno can't seem to shake off the feeling that it might be the opposite. He doesn't want to intrude and possibly get on Renjun's bad side if he shows up out of the blue.

"Jeno! I grabbed us some seats!" Mark calls out over the small crowd that are seated near the stage propped up. It's sufficiently small — there's only two stools set down with microphones standing in front of them. But even then, it seemed enough for the crowd who's eagerly anticipating the duo that's scheduled to perform for today.

Jeno weaves his way through the other customers, a sigh of relief falling from his lips once he seats himself right beside Mark. The older boy silently passes him an espresso and Jeno gratefully takes it without another word.

"I'm nervous." Jeno speaks up after a stretch of silence between them, his fingers rhythmically tapping against the sides of his cup. He takes another sip, hoping that the warm liquid would calm down his nerves but unfortunately, he only grows more anxious. He turns to Mark, his eyes filled with uncertainty and doubt. "Do you think Renjun would be okay with me showing up?"

"Why wouldn't he be okay with that?" Mark emits a lighthearted laugh, shaking his head before he takes a sip from his own coffee. "Unless you did something horrible to him, I doubt that he'll be upset once he sees you."

Jeno is ready to disagree with him when two boys walk in, interrupting their conversation. He feels his throat go parched at the sight of Renjun's hair pulled back as he smiles broadly at the crowd, his backpack hitting his side whilst Donghyuck trails behind him with an acoustic guitar in his hand. Jeno doesn't really expect for Renjun to notice him easily but when their gazes lock, he can see the obvious surprise written all over his features. It all dissolves away as another smile graces his lips — one that reaches his eyes and makes them crinkle in the most beautiful way possible — as he quietly waves at Jeno. It takes Jeno several heartbeats before he reluctantly lifts his hand to return the wave.

"Hey guys, we're Donghyuck and Renjun. We'll be serenading you for this afternoon." Donghyuck drags the last three words into a singsong tone, playfully strumming his guitar. Renjun rolls his eyes teasingly at him, settling on one of the stools and letting the bag fall at his side whilst Donghyuck sits down on the other one. They exchange a swift glance, nodding their heads as Donghyuck starts playing, his fingers expertly plucking and strumming the strings to create a soothing melody. Renjun reaches out to untangle the microphone from its stand, holding it close to him as his eyes fall shut.

Jeno has always found him beautiful like that, when he loses himself in the music. He can never find the right words to describe the way his heart stirs out of control the moment Renjun's voice echoes in the café.

His soothing vocals perfectly collide with Donghyuck's as they sing along to the familiar tune of _The Only Exception_. Renjun is passionate and even Jeno could sense the sincerity lying underneath his voice with every word that sings itself past his lips. Songs after songs sound so heavenly when they sing it. Jeno could no longer count the times his heart squeezed tightly in the confines of his chest whenever Renjun would let his eyes flutter open for a heartbeat, lighting up in happiness whenever he sees Jeno in his seat.

As the notes of the last song fades with the strum of the guitar, everyone bursts into applause. It's deafening but Jeno feels the burst of happiness and pride in his chest at the way Donghyuck and Renjun thank the audience repeatedly, wishing them to have a good day ahead. Jeno hasn't fully recovered from the performance when Renjun goes down the stage, heading over to their table.

Jeno rises from his seat and a strangled gasp leaves his lips when Renjun collides against his, arms winding around his frame. His bag accidentally hits Jeno but for some reason, the dark haired boy doesn't seem to mind at all. It does take a heartbeat before he composes himself, glancing at the other boy with a softened smile as he lets his arms wrap themselves around Renjun's waist to pull him close to his body.

"Hi," Renjun murmurs, cheeks colored with pink tint as he grins at the taller male. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Really?" Jeno has a lilt of happiness embedded in his tone and Renjun meets his eyes, nodding his head as if to confirm his words. The dark haired boy doesn't even realize that his cheeks grew warm, the blush coloring itself to showcase his embarrassment. But even then, he can't help but stare at Renjun with such an endearing look, his eyes turning starry.

Renjun pulls away just as Donghyuck manages to catch up, a smile visible on his face as he goes over to hook his arm with Mark's. The older male is pleasantly surprised — his eyes widen in shock as a smile slowly tugs on the corners of his lips to show off the happiness radiating on his face.

"So, what did you guys think of our set today?"

"Your voice is beautiful, Hyuck." Mark replies in a dreamy tone before he snaps out of it, cheeks growing hot as he lets out a nervous laugh. "I-I mean,"

"Aw, thank you, Mark! You know what, since you liked our set, you should treat me for some drinks. Come on!" Donghyuck tugs him away, throwing a hurried goodbye at Jeno and Renjun and leaving them behind as he drags Mark to the counter with a bounce in his steps. Renjun watches them move away before he steals a glance at Jeno, pocketing his hands in his ripped jeans before he playfully bumps his body against his side.

Jeno throws him a confused look when Renjun sticks close to him, their arms clashing against each other yet they both don't make a move to hold each other's hand. But even then, Jeno can hear the rush of blood pounding in his ears as he tries to still the way his fingers keep on shaking due to the nervousness traveling through his veins.

"Do you want to go somewhere with me?"

"Like where exactly?" Jeno arches a brow before he playfully squints his eyes at him. Renjun pursues his lips into a straight line before he breaks into a grin, putting a finger against his own lips.

"That's a secret. Do you trust me, Jeno?"

Jeno blinks rapidly, seeing the hopeful look display itself across Renjun's features. A smile curls on his lips as he turns his body to him, nodding his head quietly.

"Of course, I do."

It's difficult to ignore the way his heart pounded against his chest when Renjun smiles widely at him, brighter than he has ever seen him.

-

Jeno doesn't really know what to expect when Renjun told him that he's bringing him somewhere.

He had the usual movie and dinner hang out playing in his head but when Renjun rounded the corner and headed straight for the convenience store, he became stumped and lost. Renjun had promptly slipped inside and left the store in less than ten minutes, carrying plastic bags filled with various snacks and drinks with his backpack slung over his shoulder.

"Are you at least going to tell me a clue?" Jeno falls into step with him, not bothered with the rush of people passing by them. The night is slipping too fast, hanging over their heads but Renjun doesn't seem to notice or care about it at all. Jeno does think that Renjun's eyes seem brighter today — they look starry and filled with excitement.

"No way," He shakes his head firmly, lips pursued into a straight line. He cracks a smile afterwards, stepping close to Jeno as he steals a glance at him. "We're almost near, anyway. So just relax."

Jeno tries his best to still the wreckage in his rib cage, his heart falling right out of control when he catches sight of Renjun's smile. He despises himself for not having a firm hold on his emotions — it's like he's allowing them to run around wildly without a care in the world. If he continues to do this, he's going to end up setting himself up for disappointment.

"Come on!" Renjun rounds the corner, a bounce in his steps as he turns to look at Jeno. He gestures the dark haired male to walk faster and so, Jeno complies all too easily — he falls back into step with him. The brown haired boy leads them to an abandoned pathway near the park; Jeno is aware that it isn't tended that well based on the overgrown grass settling at the sides of the path. But it doesn't seem to bother Renjun at all.

He walks straight ahead, turning at the corner eagerly. Jeno hurries after him, lips parting to ask Renjun to slow down when he falls silent as he sees the breathtaking view in front of him. They're on top of a small hill and it's empty — perfect way for them to relax without anyone bothering them.

"Oh, look! The stars are so bright tonight." Jeno has never seen Renjun look absolutely excited before; his face lights up as his gaze fixates itself on the stars dotting the night sky. It's so, so difficult for Jeno not to feel the tug on his heartstrings upon seeing him like this — he wants to see Renjun smiling like this for as long as time will allow.

Renjun drops his bag on the grass, unzipping it and tugging out a blanket. He spreads it out on the ground before he starts rifling through the plastic bags to retrieve the snacks, setting them down right on the blanket. A few canned drinks are brought out as well as Renjun fixes them in a neat pile right at the side.

Jeno hesitates, not knowing how to react — it's just so awfully sweet for Renjun to do this for him. A late night picnic underneath the stars sounds perfect and Jeno can't deny the burst of happiness residing in his chest. He takes a tentative step forward until he settles right next to Renjun, sitting cross-legged on the blanket just as the brown haired male finally fixes up the last of the snacks.

"I would have made healthier options but this is all that I could afford right now spontaneously." He flashes an embarrassed smile and god, he's really making it so hard for Jeno not to feel like his heart will just tip over and fall straight to the ground.

"It's fine, Renjun." He replies, a little breathless because of the elation traveling through his veins. He can't even fight the smile that's tugging right on the edges of his mouth. "This is enough. I honestly didn't expect this."

"I told you to trust me, right?" There's a sparkle hidden in Renjun's dark eyes before his expression eventually softens. He glances down, fingers brushing against the small pack of cookies that's set out on the blanket. "Besides, this is just a small token of my appreciation to you. I wanted to thank you for being there for me at Jaemin's wedding," He swallows thickly, eyes falling shut as a streak of sadness crosses his features. They flutter open after a moment once he recollected his thoughts, nodding his head firmly.

"I feel so bad for abandoning you back the wedding just because I was upset."

Jeno softens up as well, his hand reaching out to gently pat Renjun's knee very lightly. "I understand. I knew it was difficult for you to be there already and I wouldn't blame you for not being able to stick around." He gives his knee a gentle squeeze before retrieving his hand away, eyes steady on the boy next to him.

There's a brief, sincere smile that graces Renjun's rosy lips before he locks his gaze with Jeno's. There's a flicker of emotions trailing after each other in his eyes so fast that Jeno couldn't even decipher even a single one. "You don't know how happy I am that I met you again."

Jeno cocks an eyebrow, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Tell me all about it then."

"Oh, wow. I didn't know that you could get so cocky." Renjun mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes though he's quick to crack a wide smile when he meets Jeno's eyes.

"There's a lot of things that you don't know about me, Huang Renjun." Jeno reaches over to pluck the same pack of cookies that Renjun was holding a moment ago, ripping it apart before he hands one to the brown haired male beside him. "You have the whole night to get to know me."

Renjun's eyes crinkle in happiness as he watches Jeno brings out a cookie of his own from the packet, reaching over to knock their cookies together. Jeno steals a glance at him, his lips twitching into a smile as Renjun bursts into a fit of laughter, moving closer until their knees knock against each other.

"I definitely won't mind that."

-

"What? Your birthday is exactly a month away from mine?" Renjun's voice is tinted with disbelief as he falls on his back with Jeno following suit. Jeno bursts into a fit of chuckles, turning his head to stare at the brown haired male's side profile, quietly admiring his sharp yet softened features. He looks otherworldly and Jeno could never get tired of admiring how breathtaking Renjun is.

"Do you want me to call you hyung?"

"Wow, yes please." Renjun pats his chest, nodding his head firmly as a cheeky grin forms on his visage.

"Fine, _hyung_." Jeno drags the word past his lips, putting more emphasis on it and proceeding to burst out laughing when Renjun looks at him with such a smug look. He playfully slaps Jeno's shoulder in hopes to scaring him but Jeno barely even flinches; he only sticks out his tongue at him teasingly.

"Hey, respect your elders!"

"What, you want me to call you old man now?" Renjun delivers a swift kick at Jeno's leg, catching the latter completely off guard. He winces in pain but the chuckle bubbles from his throat nevertheless, eyes crinkling in absolute happiness.

"I can't believe how annoying you are."

"You like me like this, don't you?" Jeno flashes a cheeky grin at him, cocking an eyebrow. Renjun spares him a quick glance before he lets his gaze land back on the vast skies stretched out above them with lips twitching into a smile. He's swift enough to roll his eyes to show off his annoyance, shaking his head just the slightest to let the other boy know his disagreement.

"Stop being in denial, Renjun."

"I'm not!" Renjun huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he squints right at the star-drunk skies. "Who knew that you would be so talkative like this?"

"You do know that I could hear you, right?"

The brown haired boy steals a look at him, sticking his tongue out at his direction mischievously. He crinkles his nose as Jeno moves closer to him, their bodies pressed side by side as they both admire the celestial beauty painted right out of their reach. Jeno would rather spend his time admiring the beautiful features on Renjun's visage but he doesn't want to scare him away; he struggles to fixate his stare at the skies whilst occasionally stealing glances at the boy right beside him.

Renjun never seems to notice though.

"You know, since I was a kid," Renjun begins speaking, a nostalgic smile gracing his lips as he continues to stare at the night sky. "I've always loved stargazing. I would always go out and try to find a way to just admire the stars, even for a little while." He pauses, taking in a deep breath as his voice grows dips into a softer tone. "You don't know how happy I was when I first found this spot. It means the entire world to me because in here, it feels like I'm in a whole new dimension without anyone bothering me for an entire night. It's perfect."

Jeno can't help but let his dark eyes flicker to Renjun. The older boy looks a little exhausted but the light burns brightly in his eyes, reflecting the way the stars are shining tonight. Jeno supposes that not everyone has seen this kind of side belonging to the brown haired boy — he looks more relaxed, unlike the time they first collided. He was tense and tired, as if the life drained out of him but right now, he looks like he can light up for the rest of forever.

It's fascinating, honestly.

"Can I safely assume that you don't really show this spot to just anyone?"

Renjun cracks a smile at the younger boy's question, allowing himself to tear his eyes away from the night sky. Their eyes lock on each other and Jeno can feel the breath getting stolen from his lungs at the way Renjun is looking at him with so much sincerity.

"You're right," Renjun breathes out, glancing down and noticing the lack of distance between their bodies. Yet, he doesn't move away.

"I've only shown this spot to Nana and Hyuck but even then, we rarely go here together to unwind."

"Then why me? How come you let me see this special spot of yours so quick?" Renjun arches a brow at his question, a teasing smile curling on the edges of his mouth. A laugh bubbles from his throat as he leans in close until the side of his head lays itself against Jeno's shoulder.

"I don't know. Something about you makes me feel calm and safe and it feels right to share this with you."

Jeno doesn't know how to formulate an answer to that; he can't even keep count of the number of times he had to take a deep breath to calm down the fast paced beating of his heart. His teeth sinks down onto his plush bottom lip, afraid that he might say something that he's going to regret later on.

 _Oh, Renjun,_ Jeno's eyes flutter shut, the back of his head meeting the soft material of the blanket. He ignores the light fluttering of his heart residing in his chest as the warmth radiates through his body when Renjun shifts even closer until his head is properly laying against the younger boy's shoulder.

_It's so hard not to like you right now._

"Hey, Renjun?"

"Yeah?" The mentioned boy lifts his head just enough to meet Jeno's eyes with an inquisitive gaze. Jeno has to swallow the invisible lump in his throat uncomfortably, in order to let the words spill from his rosy lips. He parts them after a moment, his expression softening.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Jeno can't deal with the way his heart keeps on stirring out of control every time he has to talk to Renjun. One of these days, he's going to spontaneously combust because of the emotions threatening to burst through his veins.

He takes a deep breath, voice softer than ever. "For letting me in your life. Thank you."

"Stop being so sentimental." Renjun lets out a laugh and in a heartbeat, he pulls away and leaves Jeno feeling a little colder from the lack of warmth radiating from the smaller boy. "I'm going to end up crying if you keep doing that."

"Then cry."

"Asshole." Renjun mutters under his breath while Jeno emits a boisterous laugh, his eyes crinkling in happiness. Even with the distance between them, Jeno still feels a little closer to him than ever. It's dangerous for him to let his heart tug at its own strings so easily but it can't be avoided, after all.

Maybe he can like Renjun.

-

The walk back to Renjun's apartment is heavy with silence. The only sounds that echo between them are the cars rushing past and the chatter of the people surrounding them. But the quietness is nowhere near uncomfortable — in fact, they both feel light on their feet with lips twitching into the familiar curves of a smile.

Renjun presses himself closer to his side and Jeno welcomes the warmth all over again. He glances down and sees the empty spaces between the brown haired male's fingers, wondering if he could hold them with his own. With a deep breath and a spontaneous burst of courage, he reaches over to let even their pinkies hook with each other. Renjun steals a look at their entwined pinkies, lips curling into a wide smile as the blush spreads across the curves of his cheeks whilst Jeno struggles to fight the smile threatening to draw itself on his features.

Before they know it, Renjun's feet skid to a stop at the sight of a tall apartment building. The brown haired male hesitantly unhooks his pinky, an apologetic smile thrown at Jeno's direction as he takes a step further away from the younger boy.

"So, here I am."

"Here you are." Jeno repeats, pocketing his hands to protect them from the harsh cold wind. Renjun is obviously reluctant to leave him alone; eyes keep on flickering from the building to the expression painted on Jeno's visage, teeth catching onto his lower lip as he ponders over his options quickly. He takes a deep breath, approaching Jeno again with cheeks colored in pink tint.

"I realized that I never got your number back at the wedding. Is it okay if I," He falters, cheeks turning into a brighter shade of red whilst he stumbles over his words. Jeno can't help but feel a chuckle bubble from his throat, stopping the rest of Renjun's question from leaving his lips as he brings out his phone to pull up a new contact page. He hands it to the other boy casually, an amused smile playing on the corners of his mouth.

Renjun clumsily holds onto it, typing in his own name and his number before he hands it back to the owner. Jeno calls him up, ending the call after a few seconds, making sure that Renjun got a copy of his number.

"There, is that better?"

"Oh, definitely!" Renjun nods his head eagerly, eyes sparkling underneath the starry skies. He coughs into his fist, hoping to will down the blush on his cheeks whilst Jeno stares at him with the amusement written all over his features.

"I'll see you next time then, Renjun." Jeno takes a step closer until the distance significantly shortens between them, his fingers delicately holding onto Renjun's cheeks. The older male is stunned when Jeno reaches in to brush his lips against his forehead, leaving behind a good night kiss as he flashes a bright smile. "Good night."

"Yeah, uh, good night, Jeno." Renjun lights up and steps away once again, giving him a friendly wave before he dashes right past the glass doors leading to his apartment building. Jeno stands still right there, unable to wipe away the wide grin on his lips. It takes several heartbeats before he manages to get his feet moving, head ducked with the smile playing on the corners of his lips.

All the way back to his own apartment, his thoughts are all talking about the same boy with the sweetest smile and honey-like laughter.

(As he settles right into his own bed, his phone lights up, signaling him that there's a new message. With bleary and tired eyes, his fingers find purchase around the electronic device as he glances at the name written on the message. A sleepy smile curls on his lips as he unlocks his phone, pulling up the newest message he received.

 **Renjun [00:54]** hey jeno, i had so much fun tonight! i hope we can see each other again soon :)

Jeno lets out a shaky breath, typing out his reply over and over again until he's promptly satisfied with what he has written. He sends it through before putting his phone back on his nightstand, a sigh of contentment escaping past his pair.

It's no doubt that he dreams of Renjun's smile for the rest of the night.

 **Jeno [00:55]** i had a lot of fun too, renjun. let's meet up again real soon.)

-

Jeno finds it incredibly difficult not to like Renjun.

It's the way he bursts into a resonating laughter, eyes crinkling in happiness as he tries to muffle the sounds leaving his lips. It's the way he gets easily flustered, cheeks being colored with pink tint as he ducks his head so no one else would see. Jeno adores the way Renjun's eyes would light up whenever he starts talking animatedly about everything that he loves, the smile curling on his lips effortlessly.

He does try not to let his heart break itself apart when Renjun starts talking about Jaemin.

There's a certain part of him that lights up from deep within him — Jeno himself can't even ignore the way the older boy's eyes become starry as he talks about how _perfect_ Jaemin is. He seems to be satisfied just admiring Jaemin from afar, without telling the other boy what he truly feels for him. Jeno doesn't know how to quietly tell Renjun that he should give up on Jaemin now since the other male is elated with his husband already.

Liking Jaemin at this point seems more like a lost cause.

Jeno does wonder if liking Renjun is the same thing.

He knew how in love Renjun is with Jaemin and he kept on telling himself to _stop, please don't like him_. He's been doing such a wonderful job until Renjun held his hand during one night after spending an entire day of going to a café and talking endlessly.

Jeno had only finished up his shift at the bar and Renjun was restless, as always. It's been two months since they first met and even then, Jeno felt like his feelings for the older boy are getting stronger and stronger as each day passes by. He seems to have an endless fascination for the way Renjun falls in sync with him — talking to him felt like Jeno knew him years ago. Every silence that stretched between them that night was comfortable and familiar; it's as if they didn't any words to say what they feel. Jeno does appreciate that Renjun doesn't expect him to say anything all the time because when their hands brushed against each other, his heart fell out of control.

Getting to hold Renjun's hand — it felt absolutely safe and comforting for Jeno to know. Their fingers naturally slipped through the empty spaces of their hands and Jeno couldn't stop himself from looking over at his direction, a grin threatening to crack on his features. Renjun tried to act nonchalant about it but the blush coloring itself on the curves of his cheeks was enough to showcase his true feelings.

Renjun feels comforting and familiar. Renjun feels like home for Jeno.

For the first time in a while, Jeno doesn't want to go. He wants to stay with Renjun for as long as time will allow him to do so.

All he wishes is that Renjun would look at his way, even for once.

-

Jeno lays on his bed, exhausted after spending the late night shift in the bar. One of the newest hires, Yangyang, is eager enough to take over the rest of the shift. Normally, Jeno would reject the offer for anyone else to cover for him but the tiredness is running deep through his bones for tonight so he allowed it.

His back meets the pristine white sheets, his eyes blinking right up at the dull ceiling. The only sources of light in the room is the tiny lamp lit up at the nightstand and the moonlight slipping through the flowing curtains hanging by the window. The soft glow is enough for Jeno to dwell on his hazy thoughts, his eyes slowly falling shut as the sleep takes over his body.

That is, until his phone rings.

He grits his teeth out of annoyance, staring right ahead as the phone continues to ring relentlessly. With a sigh, he pushes himself up, arms already aching as he reaches over to retrieve the device beside the lamp. His brows knit together in confusion at the name written across the screen of his phone but nevertheless, his fingers are quick to answer the call, holding it against his ear.

"Hello?" His voice comes out rough, exhausted, forcing him to clear his throat uncomfortably. The silence stretches over from the other line until a soft voice cuts through, filled with curiosity and guilt at the same time.

"Jeno, hey." Renjun pauses, the reluctance dripping from the edge of his voice before he speaks once more. "Did I wake you up?"

"Oh, no. Don't worry about that." He shakes his head, only realizing that Renjun isn't aware of his actions. He clears his throat again as he leans his back against the headboard, staring straight ahead of him. "What's up?"

There's a rustling sound echoing from the line before Renjun's clear voice slips through, the shyness is evident. "I know it's late but... there's so much on my mind right now. Is it all right if we hang out? That is, if you're not too exhausted!"

"Hang out?" Jeno's eyebrows shoot up in wonder, his voice coming out slow and unsure due to not knowing how to properly react to what Renjun has asked. "Where are we going?"

"I don't know. I just," Renjun falters and Jeno can imagine with a saddened look displayed on his features. The thought is enough to land a strike against the dark haired boy's chest as he nervously sinks his teeth right onto his bottom lip.

"I just need to clear my head. I feel lost right now and I... really need the company." Renjun comes out soft and unsure before he lets the quietness stretch between them. He speaks up once again and his voice starts dripping with a silent desperation kind of tone.

"Please?"

Jeno keeps quiet for a moment, quietly contemplating his options. He does have a car with him though he doesn't really get to use it a lot since the bar he works at is near his apartment. But a drive late at night seems to be the perfect distraction for the older male — it's enough to clear his thoughts and just relax as the stars hang over their heads. He parts his lips in a heartbeat, his voice has a lilt of excitement in it.

"Do you want to go for a drive?"

"What, you own a car?" The surprise is evident in Renjun's tone before he hastily backtracks, the nervousness and excitement are both buried underneath his voice. "Do you know how to drive?"

"Yes and yes. So, are you in?"

Jeno doesn't even have to see him right now to know that Renjun is smiling widely.

"I'd love that."

-

Jeno nervously checks the rearview mirror, the corners of his lips curling downwards into a frown when he sees the dark circles already starting to form under his eyes. A sigh falls from his lips as he lays his back against the driver's seat, fingers tapping against the wheel. His thoughts are hazy but even then, they seem to endlessly swirl around in his mind as he stares at the windshield with lips pursued into a thin line.

A knock on the window by the passenger's seat startles him. He hurriedly straightens up and glances at the window, seeing the familiar form of the brown haired boy right outside. He makes quick work to unlock the door and Renjun pulls the door open, slipping inside the car carefully before he shuts it once again.

Jeno can't help but stare a little longer at Renjun's side profile. The other boy is wearing a black hoodie with ripped pants and black sneakers. What's odd is the remnants of make-up still on his face — there's a faint blush on his cheeks and his lips look rosier than usual. Renjun catches his eyes and his cheeks reddened under Jeno's scrutinizing gaze, the blush blending in well with his skin.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, not really." Jeno's eyes flicker back to the windshield, stealing another glance at the brown haired boy. "It's just... are you wearing make-up?"

Renjun frowns deeply as he checks his reflection in the same rearview mirror. His mouth falls open in shock as the embarrassment creeps onto his features, backing away to clear his throat and direct his attention to his empty lap instead.

"Yeah, sorry. I had a performance a while ago and I didn't want to look dull on stage. I rushed out of the apartment as soon as I heard that you're here already." Renjun swallows the lump in his throat as Jeno lets his stare skim over the other's form. A sincere smile curves on the edges of his mouth, his eyes crinkling in happiness.

"Don't worry, I think it looks pretty on you."

"What?" Renjun splutters, not expecting the sudden compliment thrown at him. Jeno bursts out laughing at his reaction, shaking his head fondly as he turns on the engine. With one last look thrown at the boy beside him, his lips twitch into a wider smile as the fondness explodes in the confines of his chest.

"I think you look pretty tonight."

Jeno doesn't have to glance at him to know that Renjun is blushing and smiling so widely again.

-

The ride is mostly silent, which Jeno didn't mind at all. Despite the busy nightlife, Renjun is still fascinated with the city lights glowing up above them as he stares at the window. Jeno allows himself to steal a few glances every now and then to check up on the older male. Every time, he feels his heart right at his throat when he catches sight of the fondness flickering onto Renjun's visage as his eyes turn starry.

The radio is playing a soft melody of a song that Jeno doesn't quite recognize. But Renjun is humming along to it, head laying against the window as his fingers rhythmically tap against his thighs whilst he listens. Jeno lets songs play after each other and each time, he falls a little more in love with the way Renjun would glance at him every time. A smile would never fail to curve on their lips as they both switch their attention back to the windshield, heartbeats falling in sync.

"Renjun?" Jeno breaks the silence between them, eyes nervously flickering over to the other boy. Renjun peers at him curiously, head tilting to the side as he blinks rapidly.

"What is it?"

Jeno takes a deep breath, carefully moving the steering wheel to the right as the car rounds the corner. The night has become quieter and Jeno briefly wonders if Renjun would want to talk. If there are no more distractions, maybe Renjun would allow his thoughts to run wild and finally let the dark haired male know the burdens weighing in his chest.

He doesn't reply to Renjun's question — he steers into the left corner again until they've come across an empty path leading upwards. Jeno keeps silent as he drives up until the car evens out again as the ground becomes flat once more. He steers the car into an empty spot in the wide space of concrete.

"What are we doing here?" Renjun asks, blinking rapidly as Jeno turns off the ignition, letting the car fall into silence. The younger male heaves a sigh before he flashes a smile right at Renjun, gesturing him to get out of the car. Jeno slips right out of the driver's seat and Renjun struggles to follow suit, the confusion still obvious on his features.

The dark haired boy settles by the hood of the car as Renjun trails after him. He's about to part his lips to ask again when a gasp escapes his pair when his gaze lands on the view in front of them. The view of Seoul has perfectly captured in their view — they can see the glow of the city lights as the very faint sound of cars rushing past each other to accompany the nightlife going down there.

"You once showed me the most special spot of yours," Jeno rolls up the sleeves of his white button up shirt, pocketing his hands in his dark pants as he stares right ahead. He gazes right at Renjun, his expression softening as a smile graces his lips. "I think it's only right that I show you mine."

Renjun blinks hastily, awestruck at the modern kind of beauty painted right before their eyes. A smile slowly twitches on his lips as he continues to stare at the view, only realizing a little later that Jeno is gazing at him expectantly. Their eyes meet once again, just like any other time, but right now, Renjun is sporting a grateful smile and his eyes lighting up despite the moonlight pouring over them.

Jeno feels his chest squeeze a little at the sight of it, his attention drifting into somewhere else.

"How did you find this place?"

The dark haired boy's lips curve into a familiar smile as he glances at Renjun. He keeps his hands in his pockets as he leans his body comfortably against the hood of his car. "I was upset one time, when I was a freshman in university. Had a fight with a friend so I drove around to help cool off my anger. I had no destination in mind and I somehow ended up in here." A sigh slips past his pair, his tone turning nostalgic, "I guess fate wanted me to feel a little better because ever since that day, this is the place I go to when I need to get away for a while."

"Do you need to get something off your chest?" Renjun asks carefully, his dark brown eyes peeking at Jeno's side profile curiously. Jeno spares him another glance, holding his gaze for a split second before he cracks a smile. As he shakes his head, he steps closer to Renjun, his heartbeat quickening when he realizes how short the distance is between their bodies.

"No," He murmurs, his expression softening as he stares at Renjun, "But it seems like _you_ do have to get something off your chest."

A tense silence hangs over their heads as Renjun lets his eyes run down to the ground, his shoes grazing against the concrete. He keeps his head down, teeth catching onto his bottom lip. Jeno takes the hint as he looks away, letting the reticence stretch for a long time between them.

After what seems like several heartbeats, Renjun speaks up, his tone dripping with bitterness and sadness.

"I wish I wasn't so in love with Jaemin."

 _Oh, Jaemin._ Jeno should have expected it — Renjun will always find a way to talk about him. It's painful but Jeno would do anything, just to see the way Renjun's eyes light up so prettily with a sincere smile playing on his lips. But tonight, it seems that the opposite is happening now.

"I know what everybody's thinking," Renjun lets out a scoff, his eyes flickering over to the moonlight showering over their heads. He doesn't seem bothered by the light pouring over the side of his features as the edges of his mouth contort into a frown. "They think that I should stop liking him. That I should move on and stop having feelings for him. Do they think that I haven't tried doing that before?" A frustrated sigh falls from his lips, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "There's so many times that I wanted to do that and yet, I kept falling back into him. I hate it — I just want to be friends with Jaemin again and god, my feelings can't seem to just sever themselves from having a romantic attachment to my best friend."

"What do you see in him?"

Jeno didn't mean to say his thoughts out loud but the words left the tip of his tongue in a hasty manner. Renjun cracks a smile nevertheless, but it's more nostalgic rather than a wide grin that Jeno is used to seeing.

"He's been nothing but a sweetheart since we met. He's been such a comforting person to me and whenever I feel lost, he always made sure that I can come back to him because for us, we were each other's homes." Jeno frowns at that — he's quick to catch the way Renjun described their relationship.

 _We_ were _each other's homes._

Renjun takes a deep sigh, slipping his hands in his pockets naturally with his gaze fixating itself on the ground. "But ever since Yukhei and him started dating, I knew from that point that Jaemin's home is Yukhei now and not me." A hollow laugh escapes his pair as a saddened look flashes through his dark eyes. "I guess that also means that Jaemin won't be my home anymore."

"I can be yours."

"What?" Renjun snaps his attention to him, eyes widening in surprise and confusion. Jeno pursues his lips into a straight line as he hurriedly backtracks his words by clearing his throat uncomfortably.

"I mean," He slips his hands out of his pockets as he lays his palms against the hood instead, stealing a look at the boy beside him, "If you ever feel lost or feel like there's no one around for you, I'll be here. I can be your home for as long as you want."

Renjun stares at him for a heartbeat too long, the emotions flickering in his brown eyes before he softens into a smile. He moves closer until their sides are comfortably pressed against each other, his hand gently clasping over Jeno's. It's warm and comforting — Jeno wants to keep him close for as long as possible. He feels more and more like his home and his feelings are teetering dangerously close to the edge; one more and he'll fall madly in love with him.

No more take backs if that happens.

"I wouldn't mind that." Renjun is unbelievably warm — his presence is enough for Jeno to feel like his heart fall out of control in mere moments. "I think that means that I can be your home too then."

Jeno cracks a heartfelt smile at that, his eyes crinkling in happiness. "You mean that?"

"Of course. You've done a lot for me and," Renjun pauses, his own eyes crinkling as he gently takes Jeno's hand in his own. Their fingers entwine out of habit and yet, Jeno's heart still feels like a wreck in the confines of his chest. "I want to thank you for everything. If I never met you, I would have been a bigger wreck by now so really, you mean a lot to me."

The dark haired boy didn't even realize it; one moment, Renjun is speaking to him in such a sweet voice and the next second, his arms are already winding themselves around his frame. The older male is surprised by the way his body tenses up, until he relaxes as he wraps his own arms around Jeno's figure. They hold each other for so long that Jeno has stopped counting the number of heartbeats echoing in the empty chambers of his chest.

He gives him another gentle squeeze before he breaks the embrace, flashing a smile at Renjun. He lays a fleeting kiss on top of his head but that seems to be enough for Renjun's cheeks to turn flushed, obviously flustered at the affectionate gesture.

"Renjun, you deserve to be happy. I hope you know that."

Renjun lights up at his words, a smile playing on his lips. He nods his head enthusiastically, burying his face on Jeno's shoulder as he wraps him up in another embrace with the latter's arms around his waist in a comfortable grip. His words come out muffled but even then, Jeno's entire world stopped right at the sound of them.

"I hope you know that you make me happy, Jeno."

Jeno would be lying if he said that his heart didn't fall madly in love with him at the very moment.

(He thinks he likes Renjun a little more than he should.)

-

"What?" Donghyuck leans in close, eyes wide in shock. He almost slams the glass against the counter but gratefully, he stopped himself before doing it; he chooses to let it land on the surface as gently as he could.

Jeno stills behind the counter, teeth catching onto his bottom lip nervously. "It's a bad idea, isn't it?"

"Oh, it is." A scoff falls from Donghyuck's lips as he perches his arms over the clean surface of the counter, head tilting to the side. The edges of his mouth curl downwards to resemble a deepened frown, "Jaemin and Renjun have not seen each other properly in months. Honestly speaking, the last time they've seen each other was what, four months ago?"

"Well, if that's the case then it's normal for them to want and meet up, right?"

"Jen, you don't understand," Donghyuck appears nervous as he taps his fingers against the counter, quickly glancing around to see if anyone else is listening to their conversation. He does lean in a little closer, eyes more worried than ever. "Injun looks so happy with you. I'm absolutely sure that he's on his way to liking you but if he sees Jaemin again, it might... rekindle some old emotions, you know?"

Jeno's expression contorts into a frown, shaking his head. "First of all, Renjun doesn't really like me that way." Donghyuck's glare at him cuts off the rest of his points off but with a huff, he soldiers on, ignoring the narrowed eyes at his direction, "And second, I can't exactly tell them not to meet. They've been friends since they were children and I would look like the odd one for not letting them meet."

"Still, it is strange that Injun invited you along." Donghyuck continues to keep his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Jeno cracks an uneasy smile at him, shrugging his shoulders.

"For emotional support?"

"Ha, I doubt that but if Injun says that then, I'll take it." Donghyuck glances at the glass, downing the rest of the drink in it before he stares at the boy in front of him with a firm nod of his head. "I gave you a heads up now. You're on your own, Jen."

"Thanks, Hyuck but I can manage."

Jeno thought that it's the end of their conversation by the time that Donghyuck finishes his drink. But even after downing the last drop, he stays in his stool, occasionally looking around. Jeno passes a shot of gin to a nearby customer before he arches a brow right at Donghyuck with a smile of amusement.

"Are you looking for Mark hyung?"

"What?" Donghyuck's voice comes out a pitch higher as he forces a laugh, to cover up the way the blush colors itself across his cheeks. He shakes his head abruptly as he lays his arms on the surface again, stealing a swift look around. "That's ridiculous. Why would I look for him?"

"Well, if you say so." Jeno turns around to glance at the closed door leading to the employee's room, a teasing grin curling on the corners of his lips. "But just to let you know, Mark is changing in the employee's room and he's on his way out."

"Ha, why do I need to know—"

"Hyuck! Hey!" Mark slips out of the room, dressed more casually as compared to their work uniform. Donghyuck nearly falls over his own stool, his cheeks burning as he emits a boisterous laugh. He glares at Jeno, who only sports on a sweetened smile, before he leaves his stool and walking straight to Mark's direction. He holds Mark's hand without missing a beat and under the dull lighting, Jeno could clearly see the obvious blush painted on both of their cheeks.

"I'll see you two later, lovebirds!"

They both turn redder than ever at Jeno's remark, hurriedly leaving the bar behind whilst the bartender bursts into a fit of chuckles. As the laughter dies down, his thoughts hit him harder than ever as he unconsciously lets his eyes shift over to the calendar hanging nearby.

One more day.

-

Jeno stands right outside of the café, peering at the large window silently. He shifts from one foot to another, his teeth grazing along his bottom lip as he slides his cold fingers in the pockets of his skin tight jeans. His white shirt is tucked in carefully as he lets his dark cardigan shield him from the cold surrounding his frame.

With one last sweep of his gaze, he takes in another deep breath, calming down the erratic beating of hi heart. His head is spinning due to the thoughts rushing through his mind but he dismisses everything else. He can't afford to mess this up, no matter what.

He trudges through the glass doors, his eyes falling right on the two boys sitting right in front of each other in a booth. Even from his place, Jeno can clearly see the way Renjun's eyes light up as Jaemin elicits a lighthearted laugh from something that he says.

 _It's fine,_ Jeno forces the edges of his mouth to curve upwards into a familiar smile that everyone is used to seeing. He can't afford to fuck this up. _Everything will be fine._

Every step he takes is agonizingly slow, taking his sweet, little time. The chatter of the people surrounding him, together with the soothing songs emitted from the speakers, are not enough to serve as a distraction to what Jeno is thinking about right now. He can't even seem to tear his eyes away from them, as if his gaze is permanently lined up at them.

"I can't believe he did that— hey, Jeno!" Jaemin is surprisingly the first one who speaks up, his eyes lighting up in happiness. Renjun drops his smile as his gaze flickers up to Jeno, the emotions running fast through his dark eyes before he manages a faint smile at his direction. It takes everything for Jeno not to read too much into the situation at hand — he's not over thinking about this, right?

"Hey, guys." Jeno takes a step forward, taking the seat right beside Renjun. The older boy scoots closer to the window and Jeno hopes to god that it's only a part of his imagination when he sees a hint of a frown on Renjun's lips. "What were you talking about?"

"Oh, it's nothing. We were talking about how Hyuck almost broke a microphone stand because he was having so much fun on stage at their last gig."

Jeno flashes a grin, turning his head to catch sight of Renjun's expression. He's forcing a smile on his lips, the kind that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Jeno reaches out to clasp his hand over his fingers underneath the table, hoping that it's enough to loosen up Renjun's nerves. The brown haired male steals a glance at him, his eyes softening as he lets their fingers entwine and giving them a gentle squeeze.

Jaemin peers at them carefully and Jeno hurriedly slips his fingers away from Renjun's warm hold, nervously glancing to see if the other male noticed it. But there's no flicker of recognition or realization written on his visage so Jeno heaves a deep sigh of relief, his shoulders dropping.

"Anyway," Jaemin speaks up as his dark eyes curiously flicks between Jeno and Renjun, head tilting to the side. "I've been curious about this since that night but how did you two meet? I mean, you already knew each other before I greeted you both."

Jeno swallows the invisible lump in his throat, fingers twitching just the slightest. His mind shifts through the memories in his head until it pulls out the scene that he's awfully familiar with — he still remembers the way Renjun's body felt against his when they danced together slowly. He still remembers Renjun's warm hand in his own when the other leaned in close to him, as if wanting to be closer to Jeno.

He never knew he's going to end up missing that night so bad.

At the corner of his eye, he sees Renjun shift in his seat, a fond smile curling on the edges of his mouth the slightest. His fingers eventually slip through the empty spaces of Jeno's hand to give them a squeeze, as if trying to calm down his own nerves. It takes everything in Jeno to ignore pounding of his heartbeats echoing in the confines of his chest as Renjun leans against the table, still holding onto Jeno's hand.

"Oh, I wanted to have some fun and get drunk, you know? But he surprisingly managed to stop me from drinking too much and possibly embarrassing myself before my speech." Renjun elicits a laugh, eyes finally crinkling. Jaemin appears amused at the situation, an eyebrow arching as he leans close as well with his elbow perched on the surface.

"Really? I'm surprised because you can be quite stubborn, Injun."

"Hey, that's not true!"

"It is!" Jaemin interjects, a laugh trailing after his words as he leans back with his dark eyes lighting up in mischief and trouble. "Remember how much trouble we got in back when we were kids?"

"Oh, please. You liked those pranks as much as I did!"

Jeno falls silent, eyes flickering between the two boys. He doesn't want to admit it to himself but it's painfully obvious that Jaemin and Renjun have a special bond together — they've been friends for so long and Jeno thinks he can't compete with that. He can't compete with a one-sided love that's been happening for years when his feelings for Renjun are only worth a few months.

As Jeno sits there, he feels the way Renjun's fingers only slip away from his grasp. It's slow and steady and before he knows it, Renjun has his arms perched on top of his table instead, his eyes lighting up in pure delight as a sweet laugh escapes past his mouth. Jaemin is staring at him with fondness, his fingers reaching out to playfully pinch the older male's cheek with a chuckle. Jeno can feel the tight squeeze in his chest and it hurts — it hurts so bad because Renjun is madly in love with Jaemin  despite the fact that the other is married. He can't do anything to change Renjun's feelings at all.

"Wait, I need to head to the bathroom." Jeno quietly presses himself up against the booth as Renjun excuses himself, leaving the two boys behind. The silence that hangs over them is awkward and stiff — Jeno is upset at himself for letting this happen. Jaemin has been nothing but a great friend to him and he can't afford to lose him, simply because the boy he likes is in love with him.

"Jeno, thank you." Jaemin speaks up, breaking the quietness apart as he leans in close. Jeno follows suit, an eyebrow lifting up in curiosity as the younger male flashes a sincere smile at him; he looks entirely grateful and honestly, Jeno has no clue about the situation at hand.

"I've always been worried about Renjun since he can be closed off and shy but ever since he met you, he's been happier than ever." Jeno scoffs, not entirely believing the other's words. He swallows the lump that formed in his throat, his fingers twitching uncomfortably on the table. The words are lying on the tip of his tongue and yet, he can't summon the strength to say them.

 _Renjun is only happy because he likes you,_ Jeno bitterly thinks to himself, forcing a smile on his lips. He can't slip up, not now and not ever. _He likes you so much and it hurts because he'll never look at me anymore._

"Please take care of him. I trust you a lot, Jeno and I know that you'll make him the happiest person ever."

Jeno stays silent, holding back the sad whimper that almost left his pair. His nails are digging against the skin on his palm, leaving behind evident crescent marks on it as he searches for the right words to say. He doesn't know what he should tell him — his heart hurts a little too much for him to think of anything else. He wishes that whatever Jaemin is saying to him holds the truth; he doesn't know if he does make Renjun happy. Or at least, as happy as Jaemin makes him.

Renjun slips back into the booth, settling right beside Jeno. The dark haired male's heart would have fell out of control if it wasn't for the way Renjun's eyes lighting up in happiness at the sight of Jaemin, a smile easily tugging on his mouth. His heart only drops to his feet as his eyes flicker over to the brown haired male, lips pursued into a thin line. He can't even bother to notice the way Jeno is gazing at him with tears already starting to prick at the corners of his eyes.

_Don't cry. Please don't cry._

"What were you two talking about?"

Jeno exchanges a quick glance with Jaemin. The younger boy brightens up, his eyes sparkling underneath the lights hanging at the top of the cafe, illuminating his features so well. Jeno forces another smile on his lips as he stares down on his empty lap instead, ignoring the hollow sound of a heartbeat in his chest.

What's one more lie, right?

"It's nothing important."

-

The walk back to Renjun's apartment is awfully silent and awkward; the atmosphere lays heavy over their heads as their steps fall out of sync. Jeno can't keep with the way Renjun changes the pace of his feet — slow, fast, slow, slow, fast — that he ends up lagging behind with a frown already on its way on his mouth.

Every time he parts his lips, Renjun will only give him a sidelong glance before he draws his attention to the ground, dark eyes locked on the sidewalk. That's enough to render Jeno into a speechless state, choosing to let the silence fester and slowly break apart the remnants of peace between them. It's only a block away from the older male's apartment when Jeno loosens his hold on his patience, reaching the other end of it.

"Renjun," His voice comes out firm, only for it to falter at the end. Renjun stays still at the sound of his name, his back turned on the younger male. His hands are nestled in the pockets of his jeans as Jeno nervously walks up to him, finally settling right in front of him.

"What is it?"

He sounds exhausted. Drained. Jeno feels the slightest pang of guilt in his chest but for some reason, he can't seem to find the courage to let him walk away again. Despite how his thoughts are screaming at him to let this go, that this is a mistake, he takes a step forward to shorten the distance between them.

"Renjun," His voice is softer now, gentler even, but it still holds the same firmness as his tone a while ago. Renjun flinches but nevertheless, Jeno pushes even more, not knowing where to stop exactly. "Do you still love Jaemin?"

The brown haired boy keeps his mouth sealed; his dark eyes only flicker away as he pointedly avoids Jeno's gaze. The other emits a frustrated groan, the emotions streaming too fast in his veins as he takes another step closer to him.

"It's only a yes or no question."

"Why does it matter to you?" Renjun' voice is cold, sounding even more drained than before. He elicits a deep sigh as his lithe fingers slip through the brown strands, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares at the younger male. Jeno feels trapped, pinned right at his spot with a simple action of Renjun's eyes narrowing to display his annoyance.

Jeno takes a shaky breath, running a hand down the side of his face. "Because," He pauses, teeth catching onto his bottom lip as he tries to recollect his thoughts and string them into a coherent line. "It hurts to see you liking somebody who doesn't notice your efforts."

Renjun visibly flinches at his words, his shoulders loosening as they drop low. There's a flash of sadness and brokenness in his eyes before the anger overtakes his features, lips twisted into a snarl.

"That isn't your problem to worry about, Jeno. Just leave it alone and let me handle it."

"But Renjun," He reaches for Renjun's hand but the other only takes a step back hurriedly, the frown curled on his mouth grows deeper. The anger is hiding beneath his dark orbs as he fixates his gaze on the other boy, trying to control the pace of his breathing.

"Stop. Didn't I tell you that I'll handle it?" Renjun takes a brave step closer to him and Jeno is vaguely aware of the shortened distance between them — he can see the way the other's chest rise and fall as his fingers twitch right at his sides. He can see the way Renjun's eyes narrow at him even more, clearly even more annoyed and frustrated at him.

"Are you insisting to do this, to have me move on from Jaemin, because you think that I'll finally like you back?"

Jeno stills at that, his face going pale. His throat goes parched as his hands fall at his sides, gripping at the material of his skin tight jeans. His chest is squeezing so hard that it hurts to breathe — every time he tries to take a deep breath, his lungs clench painfully. The words that he knows too well have left his lips, rendering him speechless all over again.

Renjun scoffs at his reaction, his expression taking on a disbelief one before he frowns once more.

"So, it's true? You like me, Jeno?"

The silence that follows his question is enough for Renjun to take it a _yes_ that must have fallen from his lips. There's a flicker of surprise that flashes on his visage before his face falls, a shaky sigh escaping past his rosy pair as he glances up at the night sky. He looks like he doesn't want to believe his own words but Jeno tends to stay quiet when the accusation thrown at him is true.

Right now, it's true. It's absolutely true.

"Were you thinking that if I moved on from Jaemin, I'll finally notice you and fall in love with you?"

To Renjun's surprise, Jeno snarls right at him, clearly agitated. There's a very brief and quick flash of hurt in his dark eyes before it dissipates into nothingness, leaving behind his frustration circulating throughout his entire body.

"You think that I only want you to move on because I wanted you to like me?" Jeno has his tone of voice dripping with utter disbelief as he shakes his head, his teeth catching onto his lower lip for a second before he releases it, "How selfish do you think I am?"

His voice is soft and saddened, dipping nearly close to sorrow and pity. It hurts to think that Renjun is assuming that Jeno only wants him to move on solely for the reason of him getting a chance — he wants him to move on for his own good and well-being. He wants him to move on so he can be truly happy this time around.

Renjun grits his teeth but anyone can see the way he faltered for a moment; the hopelessness passing through his visage. He turns his head, avoiding the way Jeno is staring straight at him before he parts his lips, voice slowly turning shaky. He clenches his hands into fists, nails digging against his skin to stop himself from exploding at the spot.

"Jeno, please leave me alone."

"You know I can't do that." Jeno murmurs, blinking rapidly to clear away his foggy vision. There seems to be a permanent lump in his throat, blocking out every word and frustrated sound that wants to leave past his rosy lips.

Renjun looks torn apart but he forces his expression to turn cold and emotionless. "I'm sorry, I don't think I can like you back, Jeno. I won't move on for the sake of finding someone else—"

"I'm not telling you to move on because I want you to like me back!" Jeno raises his voice, cutting off the rest of his words. Renjun appears taken aback, eyes widening in shock as the dark haired male runs a hand through his hair. Even under the dull lighting of the moon hanging over their heads, Renjun can see the way the tears pricked at the corners of Jeno's eyes. He looks broken and beyond frustrated at the situation as he stands there, hands on his hips with his eyes drawn to the ground instead.

The silence stretches so long between them that Jeno can feel it seeping through his bones. He takes a deep breath, hands stilling at his sides instead. His eyes fall shut as his voice comes out softer than the two of them expected.

"I want you to move on because you deserve to be happy, Renjun, whether if it's with me or with someone else or even with no one." Jeno finally lifts his gaze from the floor, unable to hide the sadness creasing itself on his features. He takes a step back, hands slipping in the pockets of his jean as his voice drips with sadness.

"That's all I ever wanted for you."

Another heartbeat of silence echoes through before he turns on his heel, leaving the other boy behind. Even with the busy nightlife spilling around him, every step he takes away from Renjun breaks his heart little by little. The remnants fall apart, dropping straight to the sidewalk as he blinks away the tears forming in his eyes.

Renjun never bothers to call him back and Jeno didn't even try to see if the other boy is still there.

Before he knows it, he stands right in front of his apartment door, the heartbeats that used to echo in his chest have ceased to exist.

Not that it matters anymore.

-

It's been weeks since they last saw each other.

Jeno's hours have faded into staring at the dull lighting in the bar whilst listening to the way the alcohol hits the bottom of the glass shots. His minutes circulate around the chatter of the people in the bar — the echoing and screeching laughter that leaves a sickening feeling in Jeno's stomach. His seconds drip away as the silence resonates when the bar closes for the day and he stands there, waiting for something to happen.

He always leaves the place with his heart falling into pieces on the ground.

"Hey, Jeno." The mentioned male raises his head as the sound of the stool clicking against the floor echoes in the almost empty bar. It's almost four in the morning and he's awfully exhausted to the bones already. But even then, he finds himself staring at Donghyuck, who's wearing a saddened smile right on the edges of his mouth.

"Hyuck," His voice comes out hoarse, forcing him to clear his throat. He shifts uneasily behind the counter as he pours some soju in a shot glass, passing it over to the younger male. "Mark hyung went home early today since he's sick."

"I know," Donghyuck shrugs as he gratefully takes the glass, downing the drink in one go. The shot glass is left empty on the counter as the boy perches his arms over the surface; an eyebrow lifts in curiosity as he takes in the sight of Jeno who's wearing a passive expression painted on his features.

"I'm not here for him. I'm here for you."

Jeno scoffs at the sound of his words, wiping down some of the glasses as he turns his back on him, putting them away on a shelf. "Really?" He faces him again, dropping the towel underneath the counter as he crosses his arms over his chest. "Are you here to scold me because of what happened to Renjun and me?"

"No, I think Injun is an idiot for rejecting you like that." His face twist themselves into a scornful expression, shaking his head in disbelief. He glances at Jeno again with a deep frown tugging on his mouth. "He shouldn't have done that to you."

"Wow, and here I was, thinking that you're here to defend him."

A laugh falls from both of their lips, the sound bouncing at the walls of the bar. It dissipates into nothingness as fast as it resonated, the silence stretching once again as Jeno focuses on cleaning up behind the bar whilst Donghyuck gazes at the counter with an intense look.

"You know, Jeno," Donghyuck speaks up, his voice is tender and soothing as he leans against the counter, "You might not believe me but I swear, Injun looks so much happier with you."

Jeno almost drops the glass in his hands, his jaw clenching. He gently places it on the shelf, calmly turning to Donghyuck with another passive expression drawn on his visage. The other is staring at him with a hopeful expression, taking his silence as the cue to continue speaking.

"You might think that because he's been so in love with Jaemin for years, he might not have feelings for you in any way possible. But I swear, he lights up as soon as he starts talking about you. He looks so happy and I was so excited for him because you know, I can see that you like him too."

Jeno pursues his lips into a straight line, blinking rapidly as he directs his attention elsewhere. His voice comes out cold, making the male in front of him flinch the slightest.

"I guess you thought wrong, Hyuck."

"Jeno." Donghyuck drops his voice into a pleading tone, his eyes sadder than ever. Jeno isn't quite used to seeing him like this — the younger male has always been bright, especially when he's with Mark, so seeing him appear so upset makes his stomach clench uncomfortably.

The dark haired male rolls up the sleeves of his uniform, a sigh pulling itself past his pair. "Why does it matter? Renjun rejected me and I should back away if he doesn't want me around."

"But he likes you." Donghyuck sounds awfully defeated now, his shoulders dropping in disappointment. Jeno has to force the corners of his lips to curve upwards into a reassuring smile though it's not enough to reach his eyes.

"We'll be fine, Hyuck. I respect his decision if he still wants to like Jaemin, despite the fact that Jaemin is happily married."

Jeno grabs the already opened bottle of soju, pouring the alcohol in two empty shot glasses. He passes one to Donghyuck and he holds onto his own, lips curved into a smile. The curly haired boy heaves a deep sigh as he raises his shot glass, clinking it against Jeno's.

"To falling in love with an idiot."

"Are you saying that Mark hyung is an idiot?"

Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders, flashing a cheeky smile right at him. "He knows that, anyway." A laugh escapes past their mouths once again as Jeno nods his head, raising his shot glass and mirroring the smile written on the other's visage.

"To falling in love with an idiot then."

-

It feels like an eternity since he last talked to Jeno.

Renjun has never been one to apologize first in a fight but right now, as every day drags itself past him slowly, he can feel his stomach clenching horribly. His eyes always flicker over to his phone, desperately asking the stars for a wish — that Jeno would talk to him again. He knows the damage of what he has done but he's so afraid of approaching him first. What if Jeno pushes him away? What if Jeno rejects him too, tells him that he doesn't like Renjun anymore?

He knows he treated him harshly so he deserves the worst that could happen. But the thought of Jeno doing that sends a shiver down his spine, his fingers twitching uncontrollably at his sides. So, he delays the apology, constantly rehearsing his words in his head and ripping apart pages and pages of _I'm sorry_ and _Please take me back._

Ever since the fight, his days are going by too slowly for him. His hours are composed of staring at empty music sheets, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes whenever the memories slip through his head. His minutes are going up in smokes as he lets his coffee go cold and uselessly drained down the sink for numerous times already. His seconds are used up for gazing at his phone, finger always hovering on Jeno's name and typing out a message.

 **Renjun [01:12]** jeno, i miss you.  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Renjun [01:13]** jeno, i'm so sorry. can we please talk?  
**! Message Not Sent**

 **Renjun [02:22]** is it too late to say that i like you too? i think i really like you.  
**! Message Not Sent**

He always ends up shutting his phone off, letting the darkness cloud his vision as he stares at the blank wall of his bedroom. He can never seem to fall asleep because his thoughts about Jeno won't stop swirling around his head, bothering him over and over again. He knows that he doesn't have the courage to talk to him right now so he calls up the person that he trusts the most.

Besides, he needs to stop avoiding the music and talk to the boy who owned his heart for years and years already.

He drums his fingers against his sides, eyes flickering back and forth between the playground and the garden set up right in front of him. He ends up settling right on the bench, his legs are restless as he stares down on his sneakers. Despite the fact that the weather is warm, Renjun still feels the shivers running down his spine as the anxiety twists uncomfortably in his stomach.

"Renjun?" The familiarity of the other's voice that called out to him is enough for him to snap his head up, his eyes widening. The tension leaves his shoulders as they drop, a smile curling on his lips as he rises from his seat. Jaemin comes up to him, a little breathless and confused but soon, a smile overtakes his features as he envelopes the boy in a warm embrace.

"Hey, I was really worried when you called me up a while ago." Jaemin is the first to break away, his brows knitting together to display his worry. "Did something happen?"

Renjun takes a deep breath to calm down the erratic beating of his heart in his chest. But to his surprise, it's not beating fast because of Jaemin — it's because he's nervous of what he has to say to him. It's no longer beating in a hurried pace because Jaemin is so near to him, something that used to land a strike in the confines of his chest.

"I need to talk to you about something."

Jaemin looks perplexed but he follows the other easily when Renjun gestures him to take a seat beside him. They sit side by side and for a heartbeat, Renjun lets the silence stretch between them as he gathers his thoughts in a coherent line. With another shaky breath emitted, he glances at his best friend with a saddened smile curving on his lips.

"Jaem, there's something I've been keeping from you for so long. I was never planning to tell you this but it might help me move on if I do." Renjun speaks softly, eyes trained on his empty lap. When he lifts his gaze to let it flicker over to the younger male, Jaemin is staring at him with worry, head inclined to the side as he waits for him to start talking.

"Jaemin, I liked you a lot."

Renjun flinches as soon as the words left his lips. Jaemin looks bewildered, as if he doesn't believe him before the realization slams down on him. There's a flicker of sadness that flashes through his features as he desperately reaches out to hold onto the male's fingers, giving them a breathtaking squeeze.

"Oh, Jun, I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry. I really didn't know. I—"

"No, it's fine." Renjun takes another deep breath, his lips tugging into a small smile. "I never told you that nor did I try to drop hints so really, it's my fault. I'm just," He falters, his voice cracking as he gives Jaemin's hand a squeeze before he forces himself to continue speaking. "I'm so happy that you found Yukhei, you know? You're happy with him and that's all I wanted for you."

As soon as the last words left his lips, he's stunned into silence. He remembers those words leaving Jeno's lips and even then, he didn't understand why Jeno would want him to be happy, even when he treated him like that.

 _Because he likes you. He likes you so much._ Renjun bitterly thinks to himself, teeth sinking right onto his bottom lip. The regret hangs in his chest, a constant reminder of how much it hurts to breathe right now because of it.

"Injun, I'm sorry."

"Jaemin, don't worry. I like someone else right now." He can't help but curve his lips into a fond smile when the thought of Jeno pops in his head. Even thinking of him is enough to make his chest explode in happiness — that's how much he means to him.

"Is it Jeno?"

Renjun cracks a wider smile, glancing at his best friend. It's the first time in a while since he last let a sincere smile grace his lips so easily. "Is it that obvious?"

"Wait, you like him back? I'm so happy for you!" Jaemin winds his arms around his frame, a laugh falling from his lips. Renjun can feel the heat rise to his cheeks, coloring them in a light pink tint as a chuckle leaves his mouth.

"I do. I like him." He pauses, his voice faltering as he stares down on his hands instead. Jaemin blinks at him, clearly worried once again when Renjun continues to gaze at his fingers, letting them clench into fists as the nails graze against his palms. "I messed up so bad."

"What happened?"

Renjun's teeth catches onto his bottom lip as he presses his back against the bench. There's a flicker of emptiness in his eyes before he braves himself to meet Jaemin's steady gaze on him. "He told me that he wants me to move on from you because he wants to see me happy. But I only pushed him away."

Jaemin softens up, his arms gently wrapping around the other's waist to pull him a tight hug. Renjun lays his head on his shoulder and for once, his heart is not fluttering because of his best friend. He loves Jaemin but not in the way that he's been doing for years.

"I'm sure you two will be fine. You can do this, okay?"

Renjun murmurs a low _thank you_ , a smile curling right on the edges of his mouth. There's a whirlwind of emotions erupting in his chest as the thoughts collide against one another in his head — one thing's for sure, he wants to fix things up with Jeno, no matter what happens.

He can't afford to lose him.

-

"Thanks again for covering my shift, Yangyang." Jeno flashes a grateful smile at the other boy, slipping right into his denim jacket. As he tugs on the jacket, the boy behind the counter lights up with a smile gracing his mouth quite easily.

"It's no problem, Jeno. You've been taking a lot of the night shifts lately." Yangyang knits his brows at him, clearly worried. But Jeno only waves a hand dismissively, the corners of his lips lifting up into a reassuring grin. He pats the empty counter, slipping his hands in his jeans as he nods his head at his direction.

"I'm fine, don't worry." He steps away from the counter, stealing a glance at the glasses stocked up at the glass shelf right behind the other bartender. With another grin, he greets him goodbye before he slips right out of the busy bar. The cold wind sends a shiver down his spine but he trudges on, ignoring the way it freezes his veins with every step he takes.

All he has planned for tonight is to let his body collide against his sheets — he's been working too hard and the exhaustion running through his veins feels so familiar now. He wants nothing but to let the darkness cloud his vision as he falls into a deep sleep, let his body slip into dreamland.

But he finds himself standing still at the sidewalk, his fingers gripping his phone. The screen is lit up with a message coming from someone that he's been avoiding for so long. A boy that he's been thinking a lot more often than he used to do.

 **Renjun [11:12]** hey, is it okay if we meet up and talk? i have something to say to you.

He stares at his phone for so long. He has lost count of the heartbeats quietly resounding within the confines of his chest, a constant and steady beat. He only snapped out of it when someone shoulders past him, a sneer thrown at his direction and a low grumble of _move, you're blocking the way_. He blinks hastily as he glances down at the still not replied message, his teeth sinking down onto his bottom lip.

His fingers are quick to type up a reply, his heart thundering beneath his chest. When he sends his reply, he pockets his phone and glances around, moving in the direction of the park.

 **Jeno [11:15]** okay, meet me at your spot.

-

Jeno isn't quite sure what he was supposed to be expecting when he trudges up the abandoned pathway. His heart was only pounding so loudly in his chest as the soles of his shoes hit the dead leaves, the crunch reaching his ears. A gentle breeze passes by him but even then, he wraps the denim jacket around his frame even more in hopes of warming him up.

When he finds himself at the top of the hill, he's left breathless just like the first time. But this time, it's not because of the stars hanging over his head or the wide space of the almost empty park — rather, it's the way Renjun standing right in front of him. He nervously shifts from one foot to another, a hand tucked in the pocket of his dark hoodie while he steals a glance at the time on his wristwatch.

As he takes another step closer, the sound of the leaves crunching beneath his soles catches the other's attention. Renjun snaps his head over to him, his shoulders tensing up for a moment. He loosens up after a heartbeat, offering a weak smile at his direction as he meekly approaches Jeno in light steps.

Jeno doesn't want to admit it but even now, his heart falls out of control when Renjun stands right before him. His eyes are brightly lit, the moonlight pouring over them illuminates his features. He runs his slender fingers through his brown hair, shifting his position again as he keeps a respectable distance between them.

"Hi," Renjun breathes out, trying his best to contain his delight and excitement. "I'm so glad that you're here."

There's a familiar pang in Jeno's chest as soon as he catches those words. He remembers the older boy eliciting those words with sincerity and happiness when he first visited him during one of his gigs — it almost seems like that was a lifetime ago. He knew that he missed Renjun but god, he didn't know how much he missed him like this.

"Hey," Jeno clears his throat, drawing his attention to the grassy ground as he brushes his shoes against it. He raises his eyes afterwards, meeting Renjun's hopeful gaze directed at him. "How are you?"

Renjun hesitates for a heartbeat before he answers, "Good. And you?"

"Awful." Renjun visibly flinches at his reply, the light leaving his eyes. He draws in a deep breath, braving himself before he takes a step closer, reaching out to let their fingers graze. Jeno lets himself greedily indulge at the feeling of Renjun's fingers with his own, the warmth radiating from his hold is enough for his heart to stutter.

"I'm sorry." He murmurs, his voice cracking. He blinks hurriedly to clear his vision before he steps closer, pressing himself as close as he can to Jeno. "I'm so sorry."

The breath is stuck in his throat as he spares Renjun a look of confusion. Renjun stares at him, quietly asking if he could step closer than ever with a nod of confirmation coning from the dark haired boy, his arms wind themselves around his frame. He presses his face on Jeno's broad shoulder, a shudder running down his body as a muffled whimper leaves his lips. Jeno stands still, not knowing how to react but his heart is already spilling wreckage in his chest — he doesn't want to ignore this anymore.

His arms wrap themselves around the other's lithe waist, a sigh pulling itself past his lips. He runs his fingers through the other's brown hair, letting the strands wrap around his hand. It feels so comforting to have Renjun so close to him like this — god, he really misses Renjun, doesn't he?

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever said to you. I know I said that I'll never like you but," The older male breaks apart first, his usual starry eyes are filled with tears to the brim. He pauses, swallowing the lump in his throat as his fingers twitch uncontrollably. "I like you, Jeno. I like you a lot and I'm so sorry for realizing this late."

The impromptu confession renders Jeno into a speechless and stunned state, his eyes widening. His voice draws itself out in a tone of disbelief, his stare fixating itself on the other's face to gauge out his reaction.

"You... like me?"

Renjun gets thrown off by the question, cheeks coloring themselves in a red tint as he loses the nerve to hold Jeno's gaze. He parts his lips over and over again, always ending up by closing his mouth because he doesn't know what to say at all. He's taken by surprise when Jeno's fingers brush against his jaw before they gently tip his chin up, forcing him to meet the younger male's softened look on him.

"Did I hear you right, Jun? Do you like me too?"

The brown haired male counts the heartbeats echoing in his chest before he speaks, very quietly, "Yes."

Jeno doesn't say anything — the shock is clearly evident on his features. But soon, a sweet smile graces his mouth, reaching his eyes as they crinkle in absolute delight because of the confession. Renjun nervously meets his eyes again, taking his silence as a way to continue talking, voice cracking slightly.

"I kept hurting you over and over again. I deserve any harsh words from you," He takes in a shaky breath, blinking right at the other boy with his bottom lip quivering the slightest. "If you want to say something to me, you can tell me. I'll take the words, no matter what."

The silence stretches itself long between them as Jeno falls quiet, eyes searching the other's expression. He silently analyzes the emotions that flicker onto Renjun's visage before he scoffs, teeth sinking onto his lower lip to stop himself from cracking a smile.

"Idiot." A breathy laugh bubbles from his chest — the warmth spreading in his chest as he pulls Renjun close to him again. He can hear the way their heartbeats fall in sync; a steady beat of _thump, thump, thump_ that he's awfully familiar with. "God, you're a fucking idiot, Renjun."

Renjun blinks fast, not knowing how to react to the words that spilled from his pair. He parts his lips, ready to ask the question when Jeno leans in close, erasing the rest of his words when their lips press gently against each other. Jeno's entire world falls apart when he feels how soft and gentle Renjun's lips are against his — eyes fall shut as he savors the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other so comfortably. Renjun whimpers, very quietly before he rounds his arms around the taller boy's neck, tugging him impossibly closer.

Jeno kisses him in a way that sweeps Renjun right off his feet. He takes his time in memorizing the burning feeling of their lips moving against each other, the way their bodies are laid as close as possible. Jeno maps out the curves and lines of Renjun's body with his fingers, arms finally finding their way around his small waist again.

The brown haired male is the first one to break away with flushed cheeks and a flustered expression, teeth catching onto his rosy bottom lip to stop himself from smiling so widely. Jeno is the opposite though — he's smiling so awfully hard that his cheeks hurt, eyes crinkling as they turn starry under the moonlight.

Jeno lays his forehead against his, catching his breath as he leaves another fleeting kiss on the corner of the other's lips. "Is it true?" He breathes out, the excitement barely contained in his voice. "Is it true that you like me back?"

"Yes." The reply comes out steady and confident, as if Renjun is absolutely sure of his answer. Jeno lights up visibly, lips stretching into a wider smile as he steals another kiss from his pair, rendering Renjun into a blushing mess in his hold. A laugh spills from the tip of his tongue and Renjun swears that nothing else in this world could ever come close to the melodic tone ringing in the air.

"I'm so happy right now, Jun. You have no idea." Jeno murmurs, one of his hand dropping to hold onto Renjun's hand, giving it a squeeze. He raises their entwined fingers, lips brushing against his knuckles as he presses his cheek against it with a bright smile.

Renjun stares at him in disbelief, not quite believing the situation at hand. When he speaks, his voice is filled with uncertainty and doubt, "You're not mad at me? Even after everything I've said and done?"

The younger boy softens up as he shakes his head slowly, holding onto Renjun's hand a little tighter. "No, I'm not. I was upset, of course but I've always respected your decision. Right now, I'm happy and whatever happened to us," He whispers, eyes lighting up as the stars start to visibly dot the night sky hanging over their heads. "None of it matters anymore. As long as we're together, we'll be okay, right?"

Renjun melts right in his embrace when Jeno properly wraps him up in his arms. He hides his face on your shoulder, lips curled into a smile. For the first in a long while, they're both beyond elated. Jeno is sure that his chest feels incredibly light for the past months, ever since he met Renjun and it almost feels like a dream. He leans in to press another kiss on the older boy's lips, his heart skipping a beat when Renjun blushes madly, beaming widely at him as the smile finally reaches his eyes.

For the first time in a long time, Jeno finally feels at home.

He's sure he's never going to let go of his home, no matter what.

-

**EPILOGUE.**

"Never in my entire life would I see you right behind the bar." Jeno comments offhandedly, flashing a cheeky smile at the older man. Jaehyun, his boss, rolls his eyes playfully as he pours some whisky in a shot glass, passing it over to Jeno in a smooth move across the counter.

"Hey, before I hired you, I had to wait the tables and get behind the bar every night." Jaehyun jokingly says as Jeno shoots a grin at him. He tips his head back, downing the drink in one go before he hastily gets off the stool. He almost stumbles when his feet land on the ground but he catches himself in time, a laugh bubbling from his throat.

"Don't tell me that you're drunk already, Jeno." Yangyang stands right beside Jaehyun, flashing a teasing smile right at him. Jeno playfully narrows his eyes at the other, abruptly shaking his head with a loud huff.

"I have a strong tolerance when it comes to alcohol."

"Huh, sure, says the guy who got drunk after four shots of soju."

"Hey!" The other two behind the counter burst into resonating laughter but they get cut off when the other guests start crowding the open bar, immediately tending to them with practiced smiles and pleasant greetings. Jeno stumbles away, the headache already creeping in but he stops short when he feels an arm slither itself around his shoulder.

Jaemin presses himself close to him, a light chuckle spilling from his lips as he presses a cold cup of water over to Jeno's hand. "You're starting to look wasted."

"Oh no." He downs the drink easily, the fogginess in his head dissipating slightly as he heaves a sigh. "No way, Hyuck will kill me if he finds out that I'm drunk right before I give a speech later on. I really thought he was going to kick me out of his and Mark hyung's wedding when I rushed in late at the wedding ceremony."

"Exactly, you need to sober up, you idiot. You don't want to get on Hyuck's bad side, you know that."

"Jun is the only one who can call me that." Jeno teasingly jabs a finger right at Jaemin's chest. The younger male tousles his hair, another laugh spilling from his lips as he pulls away to clasp a hand over his broad shoulder.

Under the lights reflecting from the glass chandelier, Jaemin's eyes light in utter mischief and trouble. He pinches Jeno's cheek playfully before he quickly pulls it back when the other boy tries to deliver a slap on his hand, a chortle escaping past his pair.

"You two are so cute. Speaking of Renjun," Jaemin gently nudges him in the direction of one of the tables, head inclining at them. Renjun sits nearby, a laugh spilling from his lips as he chats up with Yukhei, his eyes crinkling in pure happiness. Jeno steals a glance at his friend, a fond smile shot at his direction as he breaks away from him.

Every step towards Renjun sends his heart into further wreckage. Before he knows it, his heart has already crushed itself against his rib cage as soon as he stands right behind Renjun. Yukhei is about to say something but he stops short upon noticing Jeno's presence, nodding his head in understanding as he slips away with a barely concealed laugh.

Renjun is about to take a glance at him when Jeno steps close and settles right in front of the older male. He can see the way Renjun's eyes light up in amusement and happiness as Jeno gives an exaggerated bow at him, holding out a hand at him.

"Would you do me the honour of being my first and last dance for the night?"

Renjun bursts into a fit of giggles as he takes Jeno's hand gently, letting the other pull him up from the chair. He leads him over to the dance floor and Renjun, out of habit, presses himself closer to him as Jeno winds an arm around his waist. Renjun uses his free hand to lay it on the male's shoulder whilst he gives Jeno's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Two years later and you're still charming as ever, aren't you?"

"It's easy to do that when it comes to you. Though I admit that you still manage to steal my breath, even after two years of falling in love with you."

Renjun scoffs his words but he's obviously caught flustered at them, cheeks painted in the familiar pink tint that Jeno adores seeing. A laugh spills from Jeno's lips as he lays his forehead against his, their heartbeats in sync once again. A gentle beat that echoes throughout the entirety of their bodies, a quiet reminder of how at home they are with each other.

Renjun tips his head up, lips very gently brushing against his before he murmurs as softly as he could, "I love you."

The dark haired boy lights up, a smile tugging on his lips as he lays another kiss on his rosy pair. It never fails to make his heart flutter when Renjun stares at him with so much love and adoration — never in his own life would he see him looking at him like this.

"I love you too," Jeno breathes out, his chest feeling lighter than ever. With a sweet laugh, he presses his lips against his, murmuring his words once again. "I love you so much."

When he pulls away, Renjun gazes at him with starry eyes and the sweetest smile on his face. Jeno would love to spend the rest of his days falling in love over and over again. He'll never get exhausted of it, he's absolutely sure of it.

Jeno wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter. ](http://twitter.com/jenosaints)


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